Question Home

Position:Home>Books & Authors> How bad is this piece of writing, please comment.?


Question: How bad is this piece of writing, please comment!.!?
''Alas and Alas!''

The light has its birth in the east and then followed to the west;
The ocean have its common troughs and then some crests
The seconds of our watch loves tick away,
Accompanied by the minute minutes, hours and a few days,

Yet another child born in the surface of earth, mother's beloved,
After the chronicle of Life
Finds her rest in the beloved soil beneath!.
In such a way, nothing remains, no one lasts forever,
The coward and the mean braver,
All frazzles away and decay,
Under the soil, by worms,
Or in the fire, by the flame!.

I rise and I fall and that is the way,
All the objects and feelings rise and last just to wear away,
How we find them and let them decay that's the story of another day!.

A globe of red rises in the east just to set in the west,
Finds it glory in this rise n' rust of its set!.
A though white piece of ungracious shines upon the night cloud's head,
Some are to stare and others to smile,
A few will try to watch,
But their eyes shall deny them right away!.
A child in the lap with teeth incomplete,
Watches in unnoticed sadness as the cloud drifts and blocks 'her' moon!.

A butterfly watches in horror filled with cries
As the last company of her species dies!.
The baby tortoise hatched from the egg
Looks in vain for someone whose name it has learned not!.

Some blunted one tries to sketch words of feebleness
Just to express some untitled feelings of gloom,
As everything rots and decays,
Just wishing for a cheerful bud to bloom!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
You already know how bad it is!. See the words you used in the question!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think you need to think very carefully about the intention of this piece of writing!. What do you want the reader to have gained from the text!? Re-read your sentences - most of them do not make grammatical or semantic sense!. Don't try so hard - good writing is often incredibly simple!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Word excesses!. And a bit soppy!!!
Peace!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

good its has good meaningWww@QuestionHome@Com

i think the language is a bit too flowery!. Dont try so hard!. Overall its interesting though! Www@QuestionHome@Com