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Position:Home>Books & Authors> Ok. This is important. Does anyone know a comeback for this situation?Question: Ok!. This is important!. Does anyone know a comeback for this situation!? Hello!?” “Hey Mass!.” “Derrick!?” Why is he calling me!? “Listen Mass, I need to talk to you!. Can I come over!?” “Derrick, what do you want!?” “I don’t like the way we left things Massie!. I want to get back together!.”
I need a comeback for this fan fic!. Stupid ik but whatevs!Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: First of all, please put every spoken line in its own paragraph!. Basic grammar, ftw!. also, it would be nice if you gave us a bit more information about why the couple broke up in the first place!. Did he cheat on her!? Was it a misunderstanding!? Did they disagree over morals!? Were they just "taking a break"!? Every scenario asks for a different come back!. For the cheating scenario, for example, her reaction may be angry and disbelief!. "Why the hell wouldn't you want to get back with me if you have HER!? What makes you think I'll forgive you!?" A disagreement over morals/opinions: "I don't think it's going to work out!. We're too different!. We're better off NOT arguing, don't you think!?" Taking a break: "It's not that I don't want to, I just can't!. There's too much going on and I need to think things through!." Moreover, add a little bit more description between the dialogue!. ALL dialogue makes a passage incredibly boring and bland!. Add little things like the tone of voice the person is using, what they are feeling (i!.e!. butterflies in stomach, angry blush, etc!.) or what they are doing to react (i!.e!. gripping the phone cord tightly, blinking rapidly, holding breath)!.Www@QuestionHome@Com ok here is the dialogue!. in the way it is properly written!. if u were writing a book!. "Hello!?” I said blandly!. “Hey Mass!.” “Derrick!?” Why is he calling me!? “Listen Mass, I need to talk to you!. Can I come over!?” What!? “Derrick, what do you want!?” Ugh!. I cant' believe this!. “I don’t like the way we left things Massie!. I want to get back together!.” Holy Crap! "Derrick!. What the heck!? We broke up!. Done deal!. You're obviously not thinking straight!. Good!. Bye!." The phone seemed to click louder than I thought!. It rang and the caller ID said it was Derrick!. I let it ring and go to the machine!. He must have called three times, but i was too busy in thought!. HAHA! that is a good paragraph for a book! Www@QuestionHome@Com "F*** you! You were the one who left!" idk!? I'm totally guesisng here!.!.!.=] Or you could do something like this: Massie (I don't know her real name) sucked in a deep breath, wishing that Derrick hadn't said that!. It was her only weakness, still being in love with him!. She wanted to get back with him badly!.!.!.but she couldn't!. It was already over, and nothing was stopping time from repeating itself!. Sighing, Massie forced herself to say, "It's over, Derrick!. Nothing is going to change!." Again, just guessing what happened between these two!. =] Hoped I helped!Www@QuestionHome@Com What the heck, i don't understand whats going on!. If you want to say something to Derrick say woo slow down there i don't think so, nut this is very unclear and needs spell checkWww@QuestionHome@Com You can't start something that's already deadWww@QuestionHome@Com |