Hi, the story below is 1 page out of 8 (not finished yet!. Meant to be a book) and it might seem a bit dull but it's the the beginning anyway!.
What I'm asking about is the quality of the writing and anything else you might notice that needs changing!.
Thanks in advance!.
Irana Serenir gazed over the horizon, from the railing of her ship, to the sprawling island school of Maronar, the school grounds themselves covering half of the four-kilometre island – now lit brilliantly with sunlight!. The island was offshore Geronar, capital of the archipelago-country called Meshim!. It is also one of the last remaining free countries against the horrendous disasters that have struck the planet!.
They say that the southern tribes fell first and quickest- but for a good reason; for they lived inside the rainforests of Samarkech and when the final catastrophe came the insects of the rainforest seemed to have undergone a great enlargement!. Hordes of giant spiders and snakes of all colour and shape swarmed over the walls of the ten city-tribes of the rainforest!. The disease from before, solely aimed at those with the special gift of the plant kingdom - the main gift of the tribes, destroyed any hope of protection against the abomination!.
Irana glanced over at the island again!. Merinek Prostarum, who foresaw the devastation at Samarakech as something sinister, built the school ten years ago!. He quickly designed a multi-cultural school, which he then split into nine sections!. If she remembered correctly, six he donated to the main cultures and regions of the world to study what they learnt at their homelands while the main subjects: Mathematics, Language, Art, Music and Geography, which all the students had to learn, was taught at the seventh, main building!. The eight building was the teachers’ sleeping area and the final one was the stadium!. The main school opened seven years ago and the other sections opened according to the destruction of each region!. When more countries heard of his plans, they all donated large amounts of gold, silver, rock, glass and even workers to the creation of the school!.
This was why she was here, sent by her mother from her beloved kingdom, Princess Irana came here with a handful of other refugees in this and another three ships; eighty of them, including her, were teachers and students, who would disembark at the school!. A further two hundred would leave for the other islands to the refugee cities!.
The last sight she saw of the coast-capital-city, Sokrenor, was of it covered in a blanket of fear and foreboding!. She received news only four days ago, from the crystal communications ball, that the northern kingdom of Nikrenar has fallen to its attackers!. She mourned heavily, everyday wandering what has become of her mother, Queen Lishera Serenir and her people!.
The ship had already reached the docks when a gust of wind blew a lock of her golden hair in front of her right eye, but it was no normal wind as the air was still and the sky clear blue!. From behind came sergeant Asekra, second in the command of the exiles and former-head of the grand observatory and university, Norenir-meaning skyscraper-, of Sokrenor!.
”All preparations have been made, your highness, a luxurious room has been readied for you by the principal - separate from the student dorms,” Asekra announced!.
“Tell the principle that there is no need general,” She replied tiredly, “I, as regent of my people, will sleep in the same room as the other students!. How else am I supposed to make friends, as you suggested, if I am to hide behind every shadow in the school!?”
“As you wish, your Highness,” Askera bowed deeply and left for the gangplank!.Www@QuestionHome@Com