So I'm writing a Shakespeare paper...?

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Question:

I'm writing a paper comparing Macbeth and Richard III!. It must be 3 pages long and I've got the first few paragraphs!. I got a B- on my last paper in this class (it's a class specifically devoted to Shakespeare's plays)!. My English professor, who is British and extremely intelligent, seemed to see through my tendency to BS and dance around the subject, and told me "there was a half-hearted quality to the whole paper!." This is some of what I have so far:

Macbeth and Richard III, the main characters in their respective plays, seem strikingly similar at first glance!. They are both men of middling power who wish to gain more authority and prestige!. Richard begins the play as duke of Gloucester and Macbeth as Thane of Glamis!. Through ambition, greed, and murder, both reach positions of great power!. These are the things they share!. The chief differences between them lie in their paths to the throne, and their state of mind while on that course!.

Macbeth is a man who is easy to sympathize with, at least at first!. In Act 1, Macbeth and Banquo meet the three witches, who prophesize that Macbeth will be king!. In the beginning, Macbeth is seen more as a victim of circumstance!. If those first seeds of dreadful ambition had not been planted by the witches, perhaps he would not have been tempted into murder and treason!. But Macbeth is intrigued by these predictions, and this is when Macbeth begins his gradual decline into depravity!.

By comparison, Richard is identified as the villain from the outset!. In fact, he states “I am determinèd to prove a villain” (1,1, ln!. 30) in his first speech!. He goes on to outline a plot to set his older brothers against one another!. He wishes to overthrow King Edward IV, his eldest brother, and eliminate the Duke of Clarence, who is next in line for the throne!. In contrast to Macbeth, Richard is unapologetically immoral!.

So, I know it's not the most exciting subject in the world, but does anyone out there have any pointers!? Constructive criticism!? My prof!. also said I had "great potential" so I really want to knock his socks off this time!.

Thanks in advance to anyone who answers!

StephWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Its very good and well written!. The paragraph on Macbeth could use some work and you start to outline the plot - never a good idea because you are just reiterating what your Professor already knows!. You can cut the line about the three witches and leave it just as "If those first seeds of dreadful ambition had not been planted by the witches, perhaps he would not have been tempted into murder and treason!."

You may also want to talk about outside influences!. Macbeth is heavily under his wife's thumb and it is she who encourages him to commit his dreadful deeds!.

Personally I would use more quotes to back up your points!. My English teacher always used to tell us to PEE!. Point Explain Evidence!. If you do this every time you should cut out the BS!.

"Macbeth is a man who is easy to sympathize with, at least at first!." This sentence doesn't read right to me!. Try "At first Macbeth is a man who is easy to sympathize with!." It just sounds better gramatically!.

Finally, try to make more comparisons and contrasts between the two characters!. So far you only have two and you will need more if you want to impress you Professor!

also if you want some bonus points why not study the background of the two plays!. Is there a certain reason why Shakespeare chose to write the characters in the way that he did!? Was he pressured by the monarchy to make Richard III immoral!? What was the view of the public at the time of the two plays!?

Hope all this helps you!. I'm a big Shakespeare fan so if you need any more help feel free to ask!.

Good luck and happy writing!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

At first glance, yes similar, but Shakespeare had to earn his living so the earlier king was the villain, per popular demand!. Did Richard do
away with the Princes!? Nobody knows to this day, so what's to say
why not!? Makes sense!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

g8 and maybe you want to explore thie relationships, esp with the women in thier lives!. go the bard!!! hey you think Macbeth has moments of remorse where as to the bitter end, Richard has none!. good luck
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