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Question: Is this a good beginning for a story!?
I want to be a writer, I added some more stuff:

Horror In The Sky
By: Izabela Baranowska

Amy began packing for her airplane ride!. She was going to Italy all alone!. It was her first airplane ride!. As she packed her suitcase and left home she heard someone following her!. Amy didn't turn around, just kept walking!. Amy sat down reading a magazine at the airport!. She stared at the airplane!. Amy's eyes opened wide in horror!. She had just seen something on the airplane, a big black thing!.!.maybe a person!. "I must be seeing things" Amy thought!.

Packing her luggage into the airplane, Amy was excited!. It was a night ride so every person got a free pillow and blanket!. Amy also took free headphones to watch a movie!.Amy sat at her window seat!. The flight would begin in 15 minutes at 9:00 PM and land in Italy at 5 A!.M!. Amy plugged in her headphones and started watching some Twilight Zone episodes for 3 hours straight!. It was alittle chilly so Amy covered herself with a blanket!. She started watching Nick @ Nite when all of a sudden something zoomed past her window!.!.!.something black!.Amy remembered the black creature she had seen at the airport!.Amy just stared at the TV!.

After a few hours Amy became less scared and continued watching TV!. It was about 2 A!.M and everyone on the plane was already asleep!. Amy just watched TV and looked around!. Everything was pure black outside the window!. She didn't understand how the pilot could see!. Amy ordered some chips and Coke and just stared into the pitch black window!. Amy was so excited!.

3 A!.M- the plane was becoming bumpy nd Amy got nervous!. The person next to Amy didn't seem to be sleeping!. He looked dead!. Amy watched some horror movies and out of the corner of her eye, saw something blocking the window!. Chills went down her body!. Amy decided to go up to the pilot and security was blocking the way!. Why was there security standing there!? Amy asked the security " Exuse me but can I talk to the pilot!?" His deep voice answered," NO the pilot is not allowed to be seem because he is driving!."

The plane was supposed to land 3 hours ago!. "Where are we going!?" Amy asked the security!. " No where near Earth" was his reply!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It is an interesting idea for a story!. Very creepy! Great start!

Here are some questions that I has as I read this:
How old is Amy!?
Why is she going to Italy!?
Why is she going alone!?

Was the flight full of passengers!?
Were they anxious too!?
What was the other passenger's reactions to the turbulence and blackness outside!?
and to the dead body next to Amy!?

You don't have to answer all these questions, but some the answers would help me get into the story- to believe Amy and believe the danger she's in!.

You have a great start there, nice work, keep going!

Here are some short story tips that may help you!.
http://www!.shortstorygroup!.com/storytips!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I thought it was a good topic!. You need to describe things more and plan out the begining!. Don't use the girl's name, Amy, in every sentence!. You need to substitute she,her, ect!.
Over all it was suspenceful and i liked the topic!.
You just need to add detail and have a better begining!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i really liked it!!! i crave more!!!!
if this is gonna be published i needa know what its called so i can go buy it!!!

:]

can u please help me!?
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

If I'm to be honest, I'd have to say, no, it is not!.

A good beginning will grab a reader from the very first sentence, not after muddling through several paragraphs of information dump!.

Did Amy walk all the way to the airport from her house carrying her suitcase!?

Sorry, if that's not what you want to hear!.



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