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Question: Would you want to read the rest this story!? (be warned: it's a little freaky)!?
here's a part of it!.!.!.if you like it or want to read the whole thing just let me know via email (adt524 @yahoo) and i'll send it to ya!.!.!.please let me know what you do and don't like about it and feel free to critic me ( constructive critisim helps me write better!. thanks!
"Another scream rings out!. It’s Micha, I think!. I know that it’s dumb but I run toward it!. I see her facing some invisible foe, her back against a statue!. Bo is laying at her feet, his neck bent at such a grossly obscene angle that I know no one could possibly survive it!.
The tug makes me stop dead in my tracks!. Something lifts Micha off of her feet and flings her across the dark grave yard like she’s a rag doll!. Something unseen!. An ear-piercing scream rings out then suddenly stops with the sound of a bone crunching thud on the cool damp earth!.
But then it starts again, a scream a horror, of pure terror!. It’s louder now then it was before!. I begin running away from the sound but can’t seem to escape it!. I then realize that it’s me!.
I gasp as I hit the ground hard!. I tripped when my food catches something hot and wet!. I feel around in the dark and feel hair, then skin, then…nothing!. It’s a head!. Oh, my God, it’s freek’s head! His body is no longer attached!.!.!."Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Ooh, that's so interesting! I got all tense from suspense!. I'd love to read the rest! The words feel a little stumbling here and there, but you're a very good writer! Expect an e-mail from me asking for more!
And don't worry about others think it's freaky!. If there were no freaky books, the literary world would be extremely boring!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Interesting!. I like it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
not really my cup of tea anymore!. I used to read that kind of stuff when I was a teenager!. good luck with your story, sounds like a good campfire read!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I'm hooked! you can't just put great little exerts like that then not tell us what else happens!!! It's just cruel!! lol!. I will email for the rest!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
ohmygosh, that was great!
im going to email you for the rest, kay!?
:DDWww@QuestionHome@Com
not really!.!.!.but I like to read about ponies and rainbows and such!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
(Bo is laying at her feet, his neck bent at such a grossly obscene angle that I know no one could possibly survive it)!. The it at the end is not needed, and once you said (freeks head wasn't attached) is this the name of a person, or is it a freak!? Not very informative, I feel like I'm blind as to what's happening!. I can see you as a horror, or suspense writer one day but you will need to work on it some!. May I suggest writing fanfiction!? You can get a lot of criticism there, hopefully constructive but mostly you'll receive encouraging reviews! Here is the website if you are interested, http://www!.fanfiction!.net/
Or if this is an original story you can post it here, http://www!.fictionpress!.com/
I hope you keep writing and that i helped a bit, :)
Scorpia710Www@QuestionHome@Com