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Question: Lol, this is just a story i made up a month ago, would you care to read!?
and tell me what you think!. lol!

CHAPTER ONE: THE HISTORY OF RAINS LAND


farfar away, once there was a town called Hannahs Land but due to Hannah's Land being too childish, it was smashed and destroyed into pieces; people were killed!. But only 2 people survived, Rara and Haha [lmfao!.] Rara, was greatful for Hannah's Land to be destroyed as she wanted to rule her OWN Land; and so she did and named it Rain's Land!. Flowers grew, green grass too and skies were blue [WTF THEY ALL RHYMED LMAO]!. Everything was perfection in Rain's Land!. But there were only 2 things that weren't there!. People & Animals!. Rain didn't know what to do and then suddenly, she found one *boy* lying on the ground, still breathing!. Rara tried to wake him up, but then suddenly saw a crumpled note behind him!. Without hesitation, Rara read it!. It said :
This is Gogo, the future prince of the new land soon to be made!. But before he becomes prince, he has to be kissed by his true love; he'll then wake up, and immediately rule the soon-to-be-Rain's Land!. Please, the one who reads this, is Gogo's true love!.

From,
extinct Princess Lili

Rara, was shocked and immediately kissed Gogo, but he did not bulge!. He lay there still, his breath the only thing that was what Rara heard!. Rara started to cry and give up bcos she really needed people for her LAND!. Then something miraculously happened, GOGO WOKE!
and clumsily, dizzily asked 'Where am I!? *shakes head* *shocked* You're RARA!?'
Rara was excited and over her heals *YES! I'm Rara, and you're in Hannah's EXTINCT Land, soon to be Rain's Land but I need people'
Gogo, was staring at Rara intently and amused at her Beauty [HAHAHAHAHAH] he was in love!.
'Well, I'll be your first human, AND your prince'
Rara gasped!. 'But I am no Princess!. neither am i entitled to be one'
'but you're my true love' he replied in a dreamy voice!.
*then Haha walked by and was stunned at Gogo!. he was the handsomest guy she had ever seen!. in her entire life!.*

Gogo, turned!. And stared at the girl!.
He was confused, as he felt butterflies swarm in his chest!.
WAIT!. I MEAN TUMMY
LMAO!.
'Who's that!?' Gogo asked Rara
'Haha!. That's Haha!. Princess of Hannah's Land' Rara said jealously !.
'Shes beautiful!.'
'kk whatever!.' LMAO!.

Gogo stood up and went up to Haha!.
and kissed her!.
Then suddenly Rain's land became a wonderfulllller place!.

the best place you could ever ASK FOR!.


So after a few weeks, Gogo and Haha married each other!. Rara was devastated and didnt know what to do!. She wanted to give up, just live in Hannah's Land but she couldnt do that!. Her parents, her friends, her whole family depended on her and she wasnt going to break that promise!.
That same day, as Rara went out for a walk near the beach when she spotted someone sitting there!. This has happened before like when she met Gogo whose real true love was Haha and not her!.

Rara, though seemed to shake off this thought quite easily!. She had been mystified at the sight of that young guy sitting by the beach!. Without knowing what she was doing, she walked over to the guy and was stunned at how good he looked and he seemed to have a very nice touch to him!. *:) bahaha smiley*
Because of her nervousness and the thrill of seeing another guy, the words she was supposed to say got a bit mixed up!. Then he looked up at her, she blushed!.

'Hey,' the guy said with a little smile on his face, 'I'm Phi, whats yours!?' to this, Rara blushed more!. What was she doing!? Or better, what was she FEELING!. As she looked at him she felt something she had never felt before and it was a feeling of longing to the guy!. But she had to wake up!. and answered Phi's question instead!. 'I'm Rara!. I don't really know why it's Rara, because it means 'beautiful' in Hannah's Land!. Which just you know!.!. confuses me!.'

The guy was amused at how she thought of herself!. How could she!? She was the most beautiful girl Phi had met and seen in his entire life!. And maybe the only girl he'll ever think of now!. 'You are quite beautiful you know!. Rara fits perfectly for you!.'
This made Rara's heart pound faster, make her blush even more and smile goofily!. 'Thanks' was what all she could say!. Then suddenly she remembered what she needed and had wanted for her land to be complete!. A human!. A prince!. And now she had her chance to ask him, if he would be willing to be the Prince of Rain's Land!. But it was as if Phi had read her mind and suddenly said, 'You know I was just wondering, if you're looking for a prince for your land, I'm here!.'
This startled Rara; how would Phi even know she had made a new land!? 'How'd you know about that!?' Rara said!.
'I was sent here from the neighbouring town, Cloud 9!.' by Mishy Elmo the Master of Cloud 9!.
'I dont know what to say!. I mean this is quite weird but isnt a prince of a Land supposed to be in love with the Princess!?' Rara was quite confused at what was going on

To this Phi just laughed and said 'Yes, but you see this is an exception!. AlthouWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Lots of plot-holes!. Story line and grammar sucked!. Punctuation in unnecessary places, and missing other times!. I kinda enjoyed reading it at the time, but now that I think about it!.!. I can't even believe I read all of it!. I should've stopped at the first sentence and saved me more time!. It was definitely funny and a bit entertaining, but still, it was weird! Too many flaws for anyone to fully enjoy it!.


[edit]

On a less cruel note, it made me laugh on some parts so that might be a plus! ^_^ lol!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

um!.!.!.its ok!. interesting!.

I only read part of it, then skimmed through the rest!. I think if you edited the details a little, rearranged some of the wordings, it could be really neat!.

good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com