Does this line make sense??

Question: Does this line make sense!?!?

From my book that I am writing:

"I wouldn’t be the soulful rebel who I always praised in my mind!."

Does this make sense or should I reword it!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

"I wouldn’t be the soulful rebel who I always praised in my mind!."

This statement needs to change I to I'd or I had and an 'if!.'

For example

"If I believed that, I wouldn't be the soulful rebel who I'd always praised in my mind!."

or

"I wouldn't be the soulful rebel who I'd always praised in my mind, if that were true!."

Of course be more specific replacing the word "that" with a word or phrase that applies!.

Another example

"If I believed that lie, I wouldn't be!.!.!."

or

"!.!.!.praised in my mind, if I confromed to his idea of me!."

Www@QuestionHome@Com

Yeah it makes sense!. You might want to change "in my mind" to something different!.!.!.you don't have to because it's already good, but if you can find something to replace it, it could be even better!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

you should reword it!. out of context, at least, it's very confusing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it makes sense!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It makes perfect sense if the speaker is a narcissist!. Is that what you are getting at!?Www@QuestionHome@Com