"Congratulations on your victory Fabian!"
Fabian!. What kind of name is that!? It sounded like something out of a cheesy harlequin novel!. Yet all the girls couldn't see to get it out of their minds!. "Oh Fabian!" "Oh Fabian" Oh give me a break! He wasn't that amazing and I should be the one to know!.
I was his Personal Assistant!.!.!.minus the "istant" part which translates into Personal A$$!. Working for him was worse than any punishment they could give in a courthouse!. I would quit but it was a way to get into the lucrative business of Knighting!. I wanted to be one more than anything else!. I wanted it all!.
The fame!. The glory!. The honor!. None of which I currently had!. Fame!? Well I was infamous!.!.!.!.if that counts!. I was known as the notorious "Town Clown"!. Cool nickname!? Not really, but it seemed to be catchy to other kids in town who liked to remind me of the time when a sheep dog tried to mate with me!.
Glory!? I only had the glory of being the winner of the pie eating contest at the fair!. And honor!? Not a drop!. Honor was stripped away from me before I was born when my father was caught in a "traitorous plot" to overthrough the king!. He some time after my birth due to the fact that the whole town turned on him!. Since then I've been known as the son of a "traitor"!.
Anyways, the thing I wanted more from Knighting than anything else was the girls!. Yeah, I know you're probably thinking "Why Girls!?"!. Well if you're anything like me and you've never had a girl even look at you (excluding mothers, sisters, and other female relatives), then you probably want one!.
My first and only crush was Princess Carnella but my first encounter with her made a very bad impression!. I was with Fatty (one of my many terms for Fabian) one day when he was invited to the palace after defeating some dragon, troll, or whatever!. We were about to meet the royal family and some weird, servant lady runs to me and tells me to hold her baby while she uses the bathroom!. And I know your thinking "WTF!?" and trust me, so was I!.
So I was holding the!.!.!.!.thing and I noticed a peculiar smell!. It was the smell of rotten eggs and garlic!. I automatically assumed the baby had soiled itself so out of my sheer boyish curiosity (I was seventeen at the time), I leaned in closer to sniff it!. There was silence and I looked up to realize everyone in the room was staring at me while I had my nose inches away from this baby's ***!.
The princess was pointing a finger at me and had a disgusted look on her face!. "Answer me! I said what are you doing!?" I opened my mouth trying to get an explanation out but my words were caught because one, I was dumbfounded by her royal hotness, and two, I was caught in a bad moment!.Www@QuestionHome@Com