This is what I have of my novel so far!. Now I want constructive criticism!. No "This sucks!" please!.
Chapter # 1 Just another day
The wind whistled by me with a chilling effect, causing me to shiver, while the long untamed grass and bushes irritated my legs as I walked by!. Brushing against my bare ankles in agonising torment!. Accompanying the bushes, were thorns!. Which now I realise must have already done a number on my skin!.
Around me, was a huge mass of trees, shadowed together with the early night making an illusion of a cage!. I looked around in distress; it was not like me to go out wandering after dark!. I do not even know how I got here!. As I continued walking aimlessly in unknown directions, I noticed that the trees were getting tighter together!. Almost as if wherever I was, I was not intended to escape!.
I could tell it was sunset, a pure orange colour peaking through the trees above me!. For a brief moment, I actually stopped to admire it!. It was nice that there was something to provide comfort!. The full blow of night would be approaching soon!. Before I looked up and seen the sunset I would have thought it was night already!.
However, something besides the band of trees unsettled me!. Something that quickened the pace of both my walking speed, and my pulse!. I could feel it deep within my bones!. Something that made my heart race a thousand beats a minute!. “Why did you come out here Gregory!?” I taunted myself; there were a thousand more questions worth asking!. Nevertheless, this one really ate at me!.
Soon I had one certain conclusion!. Someone was fast approaching!. It was racing through the forest at an unnatural speed!. Cutting through the vines and whatever blocked their way!. There was more than one of them too; in fact, a group of them, and they were not too keen on a friendly greeting!. I cannot remember the last time I was ever this frightened!. Maybe the numerous times my father had rushed us out of our homes!. Maybe the strange look he would get on his face sometimes!. He would have that vacant expression that would sit on his face almost every waking moment!.
I seemed to have forgotten my little sister Missy, on the day she turned 16!. That VERY day, my father came stumbling in the front door yelling at us to pack our things!. Telling us “They’re back again!.’’ He yelled, ‘’they have found us!’’
Well today, I am 18, an age I have scorned since my 17th, my 16th, and so on!.!.!.
Suddenly I felt as if I were being jerked around like a rag doll!. I must have lost thought while I was reminiscing my past!. Only to see a large group of people standing around me in an absolute complete circle!. Some were handling a weapon, obviously out of their own kitchen, and some, with torches!. I felt fear grip me hard and I started to cry a bit!. A single tear of pain rolling down my cheek!. I must have been so distracted; I did not notice that my legs were scratched from knee-to-toe!.
Dry blood crusted on the bottom of my jeans!. I screamed in pain, the loud echo filling everywhere around me!. For a second the people backed away in shock!. Pointing their weapons closer to my bare throat!. “What do you want from me!?” I cried, my father always said it was not proper for a grown man to cry in public!. But this was just too much to bear!.
The people moved aside a bit, but only enough for a man to come through!. A tall, muscular man that I was not too excited to mess with!.
“You are a danger; we must be rid of you!.” He replied!. He sounded confident, but I could tell he was UN eased!. “ Now, you will DIE!’’ The man placed his knife against my throat!. The pressure was hurting me so much that I wanted to break down in tears!. But another guy held my head in place!.
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