Question: How to SHOW not tell!?
Basically I wrote a paragraph for my college app essay (the first paragraph is going to be descriptive and blah blah blah I HATE THIS blah blah)
anyways when i took it to my helper lady person she said she loved some parts but some places I needed to SHOW not TELL (which is understandable, i did write this at 3:30am!.!.!.!.me and my procrastination right!?)
anyways one of the sentences it: I perchd myself on the awkwardly tall drum stool!.
But I need to 'SHOW' that
so she said I should cut out the word awkward and tall and SHOW it's that way by using the word 'teetering'
teetering!? What!?
I perchedmyself on the!.!.!.!.stool and!.!.!.teetered!.!.!.okay what the hell is TEETERED!? I mean I know what it means but how am I supposed to use 'teetering' in a sentence!.
I perched myself, teetering (over!? on!? what!?!?) [something] the drum stool, my toes barely touching the floor!.
I also need to describe the feeling of 'BEING IN THE MOMENT' (lame/cliche)
but description is never one of my strong points sooo any help would be nice =/Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Teetering on the tall drum stool!?
"Being in the moment" is different from person to person!. For me, it happens when I've sung a song so many times I don't need to think of the next note or lyric for it to come out (a good thing when your brain is frozen in fear) or when I'm underwater and just experiencing the sensations of it in a sort of meditative state!. Usually, my mind is full of all kinds of things, so when it is reduced to pure sensation, that is when I am "in the moment!."Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think she means to do something like: "I perched myself on the teetering drum stool!."
The stool teeters (moves side to side) because it's too tall!.
Being in the moment!?
!.!.!.o!.O;!.!.!.
frozen in time!.!.!. mindless of past or future!.!.!. focused entirely on what happens now and only now!.!.!.
I really don't know what you need, so it's hard for me to think of anything more specific!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
sorry, for not answering your question!.!.!. but you are hilarious!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Here is an example given by Crawford Killan:
Vanessa was a tall woman of 34 with shoulder-length red hair and a pale complexion!. She often lost her temper; when she did, her fair skin turned a deep pink, and she often swore!. She was full of energy, and became impatient at even the slightest delay or impediment to her plans!. Marshall, her chief assistant, was a balding, mild-mannered, nervous man of 54 who was often afraid of her!. He was also annoyed with himself for letting her boss him around!.
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Vanessa abruptly got up from her desk!. A shaft of sunlight from the window behind her seemed to strike fire from her long red hair as she shook her head violently!.
``No, Marshall! God damn it, this won't do! Didn't I make myself clear!?''
``Yes, Vanessa, b-but--''
``And you understood what I told you, didn't you!?'' Her pale skin was flushing pink, and Marshall saw the signs of a classic outburst on the way!. She took a step toward him, forcing him to look up to meet her gaze; she must be a good three inches taller!. He raised his hands in supplication, then caught himself and tried to make the gesture look like the smoothing of hair he no longer had!. He felt sweat on his bald scalp!.
``Vanessa, it was a--''
``It was another one of your screw-ups, Marshall! We're committed to a Thursday deadline!. I'm going to make that damn deadline, whether or not you're here to help me!. Now, am I going to get some cooperation from you, or not!?''
Marshall nodded, cursing himself for his slavish obedience!. Fifty-four years old, and taking orders from a ***** twenty years younger!. Why didn't he just tell her to shove it!?
``All the way, Vanessa!. We'll get right on it!.''
``Damn well better!.'' Her voice softened; the pink faded from her cheeks!. ``Okay, let's get going!.''
--------------------------------------!.!.!.
Comment: A paragraph of exposition has turned into a scene: the portrayal of a conflict and its resolution!. The scene has also prepared us for further scenes!. Maybe Marshall's going to destroy himself for Vanessa, or poison her; maybe Vanessa's going to learn how to behave better!. Most importantly, the authorial judgments in the exposition are now happening in the minds of the characters and the mind of the reader--who may well agree with Marshall, or side with Vanessa!.
TW KWww@QuestionHome@Com