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Question: Do you think the ARGUMENT of this STORY is INTERESTING!?
I'm thinking to write a story about a model named Jacqueline Marie!. Jackie is from the U!.K!. and has aristocratic blood!. She's a 20 year old girl and has a 1 year old daughter named Maria!. Jackie, after a catwalk, was killed in her hotel room in Paris!. The french police investigated that case with the help of EUROPOL and discorered that Jackie gave birth to a secret son named Giacomo when she was 14 years old in Milan (Italy)!. One year later after his birth, Jackie sent the baby to the U!.S!.A!. and the boy was adopted by a wealthy american couple, Brittany & Justin Johns!. And Jackie as a birthmom had periodically contacts with her secret son, Giacomo!.
But one day, Jackie suddenly had lost the contact with her son, for that reason, she hired a detective to discover what had happened with her baby!. The Johns' family were very angry and went to Paris to talk with Jackie about her boy!. After the catwalk, the Johns' family and Jackie had a meeting in a popular Paris restaurant and they agreed that tomorrow, Jackie will see secretly her son!. Jackie returns to the hotel but when she was in her room, Brittany Johns beat Jackie's head with a candelabrum and she died!. Brittany was an obese woman and she had enough force to destroy Jackie's head with that candelabrum!. Brittany didn't want Jackie to discover that she had killed accidentally her son Giacomo, for that reason, she also killed Jackie!.
Do you like this story!? If not, please give me suggestions to orientate this story, please!!
Thank you very much!!
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think it sounds pretty good!. Good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like it, it sounds good!. But what happens to her daughter!? Nevermind that, i like the idea, is it a murder mystery were years later Maria finds out who killed her mom and then she goes and finds them, and something bad happens!?
(http://www!.freewebs!.com/writersanctuary/ is my website, check it out)Www@QuestionHome@Com
wow thats deep!.!. you should add on with her 1 year old daughter later on or something becuase you end leaving the daughter part hanging!. Very nicely doneWww@QuestionHome@Com
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I really liked the story in the beginning but then you lost me when you killed the lead characters of your story!. The end gets a little depressing as well!. I would suggest you to keep Jackie's and Giacomo's character alive!.
Jackie is very possessive about her daughter Maria and that's when she realises that she should be more involved in her son's life!. She then hires a private detective to find out about the background of the John's!. The private detective reveals a very dark and shocking secret about them and so Jackie realises that she made a mistake by giving up her son so she tries to get her son back!.
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!.!.!.whoa!. Now THERE'S an idea we don't see every day!.
I like it!. It's sparkly-vampire free!.
I think that this would make a very good detective novel, except the plot's a little bit!.!.!.twistless!. It's convoluted, yes!.!.!.but not twisted!. There need to be emotional reasons behind the deaths, and maybe a little backstory!.!.!.but other than that, this has intrigued me!. I would love to see this in print with a few edits!. You need to make it a little less like 'Without a Trace' as well; but with a few tweaks this could be the start to a great novel!.
Take care, rabWww@QuestionHome@Com
This is quite convoluted, but can make a good story!. So: a model was killed in her hotel room, and the story is of the investigation!? You'll have to add some depth to the Johns family, make them seem like rich, inbreds who have a dozen psychiatrists on call 24/7!. You can make the story be later, when the daughter, Maria, is grown and finds a letter between her mother and the Johns that opens the investigation up after being given up on so long ago!. Www@QuestionHome@Com