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Question: The Idols!.!.!.!.!.the start!.!.!.!.let me know!?
Is this ok!?!? Would you like to read more based on this!
Chapter 1- The beginning, the Idols!.
2008, the year of the Olympics, Iphone and the new Rambo movie!. It's Sounding pretty good isn't it!? Well times change quicker then we would all like to think, like a wave crashing into the sand as it gets washed away!. Scott learned this the hard way!. You see Scott is a 19 year old young man with a good group of friends a stable job and a girlfriend whose loving, cute and beautiful!. Jealous yet!? I guess Scott had everything going for him, that was until he heard from the 'Idols'!. The Idol's you ask well it's a long story!. The Idol's are a group of people who you may look at and inspire to be but beneath the beautiful skin, eyes and bodies lies a secret that has been dormant for over 1000 yearsWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
yes it is avery good start to either a novel or a medium sized story with a few chapters!. My colleague Ms!. Goldie has pointed some of the things quite well to improve your writings in prose!. In prose we cannot quite fly with wings like in poetry!. Here for good or bad our wings are clipped!. We have to follow the ground reality of the rules of language English!.
I think, as is said that in a short story, if you speak of a pistol, then you have to see that it used within the short span of that story!. The way your story has developed so far I like it!. If you keep the story within four or five chapters to start with, the abruptness will be justified and fall in its place!.
Write as you feel like with keen and acute observation, and I believe you will turn out to be a good writer!.
Has your girl-friend seen this grand opening gala !!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
its really good
some mistakes
but caught my attention
i really want to hear the whole story :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Sorry, I was bored--and confused trying to put punctuation where you hadn't!. You jumped in w/ too much information too soon w/ no background!. Scott sounds like any average teen!. I'd be more jealous if he were a Rhodes Scolar or one of 2 undergrads to work on a specialized robotic project @ MIT or RPI!.
The wave sentence was so non-descriptive I had to read it twice to see I had gotten it right!. It's the nature of a wave to crash on the sand!. And WHAT gets washed away--the wave or the sand!? Make it descriptive if its the sand--the tiny particles of rock ground down by milleniums of waves pushing them around!.
Personally I wouldn't date the Olympics!. Leave off the 2008 & make it timeless!. also, the iphone becomes the newest communication commodity, & the movie is a cinematic feature of the century!.
I won't get into the Idols except to say I expected to read something about The American Idol (e!.g!. Kelly Clarkson)!.
I'm not saying to quit--I'd never do that to someone who shows the desire to write!. Spend more time editing each crucial word into a sentence & then a thought!. Don't be in such a hurry to post!. I would like to know you continue!.Www@QuestionHome@Com