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Question: Need opinion on my novel I'm writing, I'm 13!.
Okay, I will just give you a brief summary!.
Book title: Technology: The Seventh element!.
Type: Adventure, Suspense, Action, Drama, Thriller!.
Protagonist: Suzanna Weighther
Antagonist: ‘’Technology’’
Secondary: Lianne Phire
Adam Ouind
Aqua Water
Erik Mood
Courtney Knature
Brief Description:
My book is about the 4 regular elements of Earth, Fire, Water, and Wind with 2 added elements for my own little twist!. Weather, and Emotion!. Now it all started when the Earth was new!. The master wouldn’t take a creature in from the rain, so the creature slaughtered and cursed him!. The curse was that There would be a new ‘’unnatural’’ element!. An element that didn’t fit!. Technology; Half human, and half machine, his purpose is to kill each human born of each element and make it so only machines roamed the Earth!. His source, a nifty resurrection, (the creature), And a slave race, ‘man-kind!. Suzanna of Weather is shocked when Lianne of fire, turns up at her doorstep with a prophesy in mind, Suzanna cannot picture herself as an elemental being!. She was raised as a regular depressed teenager, with argumentative foster parents!. Moreover, nothing to do!. However, as more and more attacks occur, she realises that!.!.!.If she does not come to her senses and find the remaining 4 elements, then say goodbye to all things living!.!.!.


Chapter 3- Suzanna, Lianne, and Adam, the three travellers!.
Scene# 28- Awake!.!.!.
Suzanna awoke screaming with terror!. Clawing and grabbing the air around her, and eventually Lianne’s face!. This startled Mrs!. Weighther so much that she had the car doing 360’s!. Tires squealing into different directions as Mrs!. Weighther struggled to stop the squealing mess that was her vehicle!.
Suzanna, who was shaking with fear, felt her stomach rise up to her chest while everyone else seemed equally scared, shock and terror filling their faces!. Oh, no! She thought as she seen that they were squealing right into traffic!. She could hardly see, just blurs!. Of her friends, blurs of her spinning surroundings!. However, oddly there was no traffic!. No sounds of cars slamming on their brakes!. Just a spinning darkness!. “Mom!” She screamed, but her word wasn’t finished when they’d slammed into the ditch!. The loud crackling bangs of smashing metal echoing out into the distance!. But the noise that competed with the sound of the car, was Suzanna’s horrible scream of terror and pain!. Cutting through the silence like a knife through butter!.
Suzanna lay mangled in the back seat; she was in more shock than in pain!. Shock from the crash or shock that it was now thundering and lightning she wasn’t sure!. And it gave her the giggles when she saw Adam cursing and kicking the car outside!. His voice raging with the thunder and pounding with the rain!. “Lianne!?” Suzanna whispered softly!. Lianne, who was just recovering, replied by sticking her thumb up from under the pile of cloths that were now blanketing over her!. “A little over dramatic don’t you think!?” Adam complained!. But Suzanna couldn’t be over certain memories!. The terrible, unforgiving memories that struck her with such hatred it sent her body immediately in an erect position!.
The coldness was more noticeable now!. A chilling almost electrical cold that sent goose bumps through her entire body!. Her pulse still beating almost unnaturally hard, her heart shaking at her rib cage!. Beating faster and faster as she lay there!. She could feel her stomach churning, churning with a tingling sensation that sent chills down her spine and through the marrow in her bones!. It was then she realised why she was in nervous tension!. Why her mother was now frozen with fear!. Why Adam was now in the car biting his lower lip perfutiously!. Even Lianne seemed frozen, her usually wild hair hanging stiffly at her shoulders!. Eyes focused on the glass of water Mrs!. Weighther had put there in case anyone got thirsty!. Suzanna started to feel even more nervous when she focused on the glass of water!. Everything just went silent, and with that, silence was the odd shaking of the contents of the glass!. Like in those dinosaur films when the water would move to the steps of the beast that lurked on its prey!. Ironic isn’t it!? The way the most pathetic of things can show themselves at the weirdest of times!. They could hear it now, something much louder than the rain or thunder!.
Then, just as fast!.!.!.It was right before them!.!.!.
I know it’s a lot to chew up, but hope you like it, and by the way, its not the full chapter, I wanted to leave you hanging :P
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Don't leave us hanging like that! When you finish the book and get it published, (because any publisher who passed this up would be a complete and total MORON) Please send a copy to me!.

You can email me from my Answers page and I'll give my address to you, I'm not posting it for all the creepies and stalkers to find! ttfn

I noticed the elements in the last names!.!.!.!. Clever! Subtle enough for most people to not notice!. I congratulate you for being wise beyond your years!. Finish this book for our generation (I'm fifteen) and you'll have fans all over the world!. This is the next great fantasy book!. Don't you dare quit on it!Www@QuestionHome@Com

i love it
i usually don't like those kinds of book but that chapter would keep me reading all night long!.

and i think you grammar is really good i am glad you havin it published cause i would soooo read itWww@QuestionHome@Com

my goodness that is amazing!. im not really into those kinds of books, but you got me hooked!.
great job!.
you should keep writing!. its great!.

btw-just a lil typo i caught!. its not prophesy!. its prophecy!. with a c!. but thats it lol

again, great job =)Www@QuestionHome@Com

whoaa, it was really good!. I dont personally like this kind of book so i geuss im biased though!.

that doesnt make sense haha!.


answer mine!?
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You are talented, especially at your age!. I sense a bright future for you in a writing career!. Who knows, maybe sooner then you expect you'll see books with your name on them in the shop!.

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oh my gosh! that sounds so good and interesting! i only read the 1s paragraph and i could feel myself getting pulled into the story lol!. cant wait to see this on the shelves! Www@QuestionHome@Com

Are you sure youre just 13!? :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

That is really good stuff!. I am enthralled! You should find a Publisher if you don't already have one!!! :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

I loved it!!!!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Woahhh! that sounds really good!

i would totally read your book!

are you gonna try to get it published!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Your writing has (haha) promise, and the story has!.!.er!.!.!.promise, as well!. But, you need to work on your sentence structure and your grasp on grammar is kind of poor (but very good considering your age)!. You have a lot of run on sentences in your excerpt and some spelling issues!. also, the word perfutiously does not exist!. Did you mean something else!?
Are you considering trying to get this published!? Please don't!. That's not meant to be mean it's just that I think you should wait until your grasp of the language is more refined!. How about you post it on http://www!.fictionpress!.com and get some constructive criticism on it from the readers there!.
Lastly, never stop writing!. I know this may seem extremely mean and may be discouraging but it's really not meant to be that way!. I'm really trying to help you!. Someone did something similar with my early writings and I'm much better off for it (though I've yet to try and tackle something like a novel yet :P I admire your courage-b/c it takes a lot to put yourself out there through your work) Good luck and I hope this helped you some!.

P!.S!. I love your characters' names, they're so clever!
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