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Question: Help with adjective problems
I wrote a clip of my story on here at
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.
and many people such as ruff- ruff -grrrr are telling me to stop using soooo many adjectives and adverbs!. I don't understand how to be descriptive without them and how to paint a clear picture!. how do you people do it!? I usually don't use that much of them, but sometimes I think that it needs to be longer or that I am not descriptive enough!.all help will be apreciated!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Start off by writing the bare minimum of what happens:

a man walked into the bar!. he bought a drink!. he chatted to the barman!.

Then set the scene a bit better:
The man walked into The Blue Bar!. He'd never been in before but as soon as he stepped inside, he knew he would go in many times after this!. There was a constant buzz of drinks being brought over to tables, inane chatter from drunks!.!.!.and a wonderfully fresh smell something like citrus, but not quite!.

Your description needs to appeal to the 5 senses!. You describe the setting, not your shower curtain!. It's to establish mood!.

Now describing people:
i had luscious brown hair and blue eyes!.

Great- who cares!?! What does that say about the character, other than their physical appearance!? Nothing!.

Generally I looked pretty but today I didn't have time for all the make-up and outfit-choosing I normally did!. My hair was dishevelled and basically I was a mess!.

See, here we get a sense of the girl- they clearly like to make an effort with their appearance but they've probably had a big night or are a bit tired!.

The golden rule- write only what you need to writeWww@QuestionHome@Com

I for one am all for adjectives!. However, I think that too many sound kind of awkward!. I think your story is great!. It does paint a good picture!. But you could improve on a few of those little details!.For example,mesmerized shock!. It might be too much!. Other then that, it was great!. I like this one better than your first!. I would read a book by you!. also, you should always take critics opinions into consideration, but not to a point when its very offensive!. As a writer, you should write a book that is as good as you can make it, but no matter how good it is, there will be people who don't like it!. People have different opinions on everything!. I think your story is great!. I like your writing style!. And in my opinion, you should continue to write it and then publish it!.

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