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Question: Am I A GoOd AUTHOR READ !! :)
Its been changed since last time, I paste and copied it so!. Didn't check punctuation!.
The sound of the soles tapping came closer, echoing down the corridor!. Like a tap dancing show only of tune!. Holding his body upright against the wall, every muscle tensed in his body!. The sound of leather rebounding marble came closer and closer untill it stopped!. This show was almost at an end!. Parker gripped the Handle of the 38!. and aimed it at waist level!. Don't lose your head Parky, get outta this and you're a rich man!. The thought repeated over while cocking the trigger back trying to make as little noise as possible!. A Sudden bash and click, the door crashed open and slammed open sending bits of chipped wood to the ground!. Silence!. Heavy breathing from outside the cramped room!. two ape like men swung through!. Loud gunshots and smoke spiralling into the air in coils and then it was over!. The smoke was now disapearing into thin air!. Blood was smeared on the wall next to it a man slanted at the side!. Loud groans, and stiff movements a man holding onto Parkers feet!. Writhing his legs!.
I'm 13 also, and I don't need advice!. I know i've got good punctuation so please do not point that out this time!.
Thanks!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Alright I am thirteen to and what I see is some stuck up boy who thinks to much about himself!. Why would you post something that says Am I a good reader!? but not want advice!.This website is for people who want advice, if you have a problem with that then you should question why you are on here!.
Oh and personally I think it was good but your so full of yourself that it just ruined it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Like the first poster stated, what are we supposed to say if you don't want advice!? If we just like your writing, yes or no!? In which case, no!. Sorry!.
That would sound a lot less harsh if you'd let me point out what I don't like about it, but apparently you don't "need" advice!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Yes, actually!. You are a good author with plenty of potential, and sometimes I know what you mean by not wanting other people's remarks! [: Don't mind some of their negative criticisms, but what I wold suggest you to work on is to just!.!.!.be a little more curtious to other people!. Otherwise, you're such a good author! Praise you!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com
still don't like it!. i would offer you advice but you "don't need it"!. trust me honey, you need it!. hint: check your grammer and sentence structure!. you've said it a million times!. you're 13: you don't know anything!. so stop acting like you do!. i have a theory: you're not relly looking for advice and creative criticism, you were looking for compliments, and now you're overly upset because you didn't get them!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Why did you bother to post this here if you say you "don't need advice"!? I say you do need advice (and a lot of it), but if you don't want it, then I shouldn't waste my time!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
Read the bit about "Not wanting advise" first, so bye!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Pish!. Stop acting egotistical!. You don't have good grammar!. You do need advice!. And because of that, I'm gunna give it to you, sonny!.
First of all, I don't know where this is taking place!. Tell the reader that!.
Work on your grammar for God's sake!. Microsoft Word!. Peer editing!. C'mon now!
Besides that, the description tickled my fancy!. I liked it!. Except for the faults listed above!.
It would be wise to fix your mistakes before somebody else tells you off and owns you!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
You love your full stops don't you!? I know you're doing it to build suspense!. But it is annoying!. Very annoying!.
'Writhing his legs' is a silly sentence!. Number one it's very short!. Very short!. See how annoying short sentences like yours are!? Number two writhing is most commonly used as an intransitive verb (look it up) so why are you bothering to use it as transitive!? It doesn't flow- you should have used contort or twist
Your tenses are all over the place- you use past and then you go on to historic present!.
It is also filled with every cliche in the book: 'Don't lose your head' sounds like something out of a bad film!. The irregular rhythm of tapping shoes which you have described in the awkwardest way ever!.
'I've read Oscar Wilde's books' probably means you've only read Dorian Gray and Earnest (yes, I know those aren't the full names)!. I sincerely doubt you've read all of them!.
Please post the classic titles you have read- I'm sure me and my fellow answerers would love to know what makes you so intellectually superior to us!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
well i wont give you advice, just "tips" on how to make your writing different!.!.!.!.haha
"like a tap!.!.!.!.only of tune" is missing an "out" and sounds stupid as anything!.!.!.plus you cant tap dance out of tune
"every muscle tensed" cliche as anything
"untill" has one L
"Parker gripped Handle!.!.!.38!. and aimed it at waist level" handle isnt capitalized, that should be !.38 for 38mm
"dont lose you head Parky" needs to be in quotes or italicized
"the though repeated over while cocking the!.!.!." my god, if u think you are sooooo good, take a look at that! you just said that a thought pulled a trigger
"A Sudden" sudden isnt capitalized
"two ape like men swung through" misplaced
you spelled "disappearing" wrong, thats basic
"blood was smeared!.!.!.!.!.the side" that whole thing makes no sense
"Parkers feet" is Parker's feet, so much for puncuation
yea it would have been below average anyways, its really boring
but since you are such a little snot about it, its worse and actually very elementary
im 17 and could write better than this at 11!. you dont have any sense of grammar!. and dont treat your answerers like b****es "so up yours" ive read most classics tooWww@QuestionHome@Com
Actually, your punctuation needs a great deal of work!. You don't know how to break sentences up correctly, your capitalisation is off, and you're missing a few apostrophes!. A good author takes pride in ALL their work, so if you do know how to punctuate, you should really use that knowledge!.
I've already given you my opinion - you could be a good author with lots of practice and dedication!. Until then, you'd be wise to take any advice you can get!.Www@QuestionHome@Com