okay!.!.!. this story is about a normal teen who's mother died 5 months ago!. she is 17 years old and in high school!. if you could give me your honest opinion on this excerpt it would be great! thanks!
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this happened right after her mother died!.
I couldn’t believe my eyes!. That was my mother lying there, and she was gone, forever!. My house looked like a scene straight out of a horror movie!.
The emotions that were running through me were too much to control!. I backed up into the wall for support and immediately went into hysterics!. I think that was when the police heard me, because that was when they came in the living room and covered the body quickly!. I held my face in my arms as they started grabbing at me to get me out of the house!. I didn’t want to leave, I wanted answers!. My body went limp as they dragged me out onto the front lawn!. I couldn’t function!. They tried to calm me down but I couldn’t hear anything they were saying!. My eyes were wet with tears and my mind was filled with the image of her dead, murdered… gone!.
I promised myself then that I wouldn’t let the murderer get away with what they had done to her!. I wanted revenge!. My mind and body were screaming for it!. Everything started to come back into focus when my dad came to me!. He held my shoulders and told me to calm dawn!. I didn’t understand why he was so calm!. His wife had just been murdered! How could he be so composed at a time like this!?!!? I remember screaming “WHO DID THIS!!?! WHEN!!?!” while I clutched his shoulders as hard as I could!. My tears were still freely flowing… his eyes were completely dry!.
He looked down at the ground and then at one of my hands!. My knuckles were white, but I couldn’t let go!. Then… he walked away, just like that!. I let my body drop as all hope and energy drained out of it!.
The rest of the night moved on, but I didn’t!. Everything was a blur to me, none of it felt like it was even happening!. Time had passed since that night, but I was still there, glued, all my thoughts from then on revolving around it!. I was forever since cursed with the memory of what happened on August 6th!.
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I never before understood what would make a person commit suicide, I still don’t really, but when your mother chooses to do it, it makes your mind twist and turn all of the time!. It’s an impossible thing to let go!. You always wonder what it was that made her want to do it, and why she would want to leave you behind!. I thought that my relationship with my mother was great!. She was my best friend and I thought that I was hers!. When she did kill herself, I couldn’t even allow myself to think about the reasons behind it!. Weren’t my father and I enough!? What was making her life so miserable that she had to end it!?
It was a painful thing losing her to something like that, and when people asked how she did die, I would simply say “She got sick and couldn’t go on living the way she was!.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie, but it wasn’t the straight up answer that they were usually looking for!. I hadn’t told anyone, not even Brianna, the truth behind why she was out of my life!. I couldn’t!. I didn’t want people to take pity on me for something that I was trying to get over, it only makes things worse!.
My family, the church pastor, and I were the only people who knew the reality of the situation!. I hoped that it would stay that way!. People who haven’t gone through the pain just don’t seem to fully understand what it takes away from you!. Little pieces of yourself get pulled out of you when someone you love dies!. I was beginning to learn that there was no replacing those pieces!. Try as I might, I couldn’t find anything to seal or patch up the holes in me!. I was scarred… forever!.
I frequently questioned whether or not my father, or anyone else in my family, felt the same way as me!. Were they as hurt by her leaving as I was!? I mean, sure, they loved her, but I was her daughter, she was my second half and I hoped to god that nobody felt the same way as me!. I was afraid to explore the motive for my mother to shoot herself in our house that August night!. I had never asked, and I was never told in return!. Could there possibly be things that I didn’t know!?
Even if there were, the truth was, I didn’t really want to know them!. In my opinion, some mysteries in our world are better left unsolved!.
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