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Question: What do you think of this short passage!?
I almost blasted the brains of my eighth grade class out!. This isn’t some gimmick or joke!. And without the intention of a pun, it’s dead serious!.
I hated all of them!. Every last one of them!. Not a soul roamed those hallways that I didn’t despise!. They were just an ignorant hoard of swine!. Lifeless, thoughtless creatures with no regard for any one other than themselves!. They deserved to die, and that’s why they almost did!.
To get an accurate glimpse of these beast disguised as humans you would have to travel back to the beginning of middle school!. Where I trusted them and even at one point was apart of them!.
I guess I could go into detail about the morning before my first day of school!. About the sound of my alarm and my new clothes!. About my dad videotaping my every move and my neatly organized school bag!. Or even about eating breakfast and brushing my teeth!. But I won’t!. These details are stupid and unimportant!. They have no value to the story I am trying to tell and are gooWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
oh my god i hope you continue this story and when you do please send me a copy, i really liked it!. i was really disappointed when you decided not to continue on ,and i also think that who ever thinks you're a bad writer should get lost!. you have it in you to write those kind of stories that when you start to read them you never want to put them down and when you read the last page you wish that the book wasn't over YES i think you should continue this story and get it published because you are an excellent writerWww@QuestionHome@Com
Umm!.!.!. WOW!
Just your first sentence got me interested!. I like whoever the person thinking is!. They seem very realistic and complicated!. And I want to know why he/she wants to kill his class!
Definately write more! You better write more! There is a deep and meaningful story in there, don't let it go to waste!Www@QuestionHome@Com
It was good!. The first sentence caught me but it was a little confusing so maybe you could reword it!. I don't really read stories about middle school partly to the fact that I think it's the worst school level to be in but it interested me though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Pretty good writer!. Be sure this stays a story and doesn't turn into reality though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's intriguing!. Watch a couple minor errors (beastS, apart, 'I almost blasted OUT the brains!.!.!.')!. I'm a little bit confused as to what you were talking about, since hardly anything can trigger hate upon every single person in your class!. Unless that was exaggeration!. It was a good passage, though - I wanna hear more!. :DWww@QuestionHome@Com