Do you think Edward really is an abusive boyfriend?

Question: Do you think Edward really is an abusive boyfriend!?

I don't think he is, and that is all opinion!. But he really isn't once you think about it!. He doesn't hurt Bella physically, he is jealous of Jacob, but then again, Jacob pretty much assaulted Bella by kissing her that way!. Do you honestly think he is abusive!. I think he would be perfect :)!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

You know what!? I love Edward and will be on Team Cullen forever, but yeah, sometimes he doesn't respect Bella's right to do what she wants!. Like, he practically locks her up at times and doesn't listen to her! I know he only does this because he loves her and thinks it's the right thing to do, but his love makes him blind sometimes!. Their relationship would be even more perfect if he could give Bella some space, and listen to what SHE thinks is right, too!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Borderline!. He's not physically abusive!. He doesn't physically hurt her!. He's EMOTIONALLY semi-abusive!. He does things to make her feel guilty, or he does things that FORCE her into compliance with his will, or he is overprotective, controlling, possessive, etc!. He's got a malicious streak in him too-- Jake can be mean, but it arises out of anger!. It's spur of the moment!. And he always feels bad afterwards!. Whereas Edward's nasty tricks are more planned out!. Plus he knows how to hurt his "enemy" badly, due to his gift!. I feel like Edward just has a mean streak in him and is intentionally malicious sometimes!. I feel like he doesn't care for the feelings of those around him, other than Bella!.

Okay!. So I'll tell you now what issues I have with Edward!.

First of all!. He tries to CONTROL Bella!. He TELLS her she can't see Jake!. he FORBIDS her from seeing Jake!. He says he doesn't care what she says, his mind won't change!. He won't listen to her, even though she protests!. Do I blame him for not wanting her around Jake!? No!. Do I blame him for not trusting Bella's sense of danger!? No, I don't!. Do I blame him for wanting her to be safe!? Not at all!. I don't have a problem with his *motivations*!. I have a problem with his *actions*!. It's fine for him to be worried; that is 100% understandable!. But it's a completely different matter to do things that FORCE another person into compliance with your will (aka dismantling her car and having Alice kidnap her)!. It's a completely different thing to totally take away a person's God-given right of freedom of choice!. It's fine for him to be worried and express is worry; it's NOT fine for him to FORBID her from and TELL her she can't do this or that!. He has the right to be worried; he has no right to TELL her what to do!. It's her life, her choice!. I would have been fine if he would have said, "Bella, I don't want you around him!. It makes me jealous, and I don't want you in danger"!. It's NOT fine for him to say, "You can't see him!. I don't care what you say!. I won't let you!. I'll stop you if you try"!. He is not her father, nor a parent, nor an authoritative figure!. He has no right to tell her she can and can't do this!. He has the right to REQUEST she doesn't; nothing more!. I know people say, "Well, he changed! He realized he was hurting her!"!. But no, he didn't!. He says himself that he only gave in because he was worried she would hurt herself trying to see Jake!. He gave in because he could see what he was doing wasn't working; not because he changed!.

In real life, that doesn't fly!. In real life, girls are encouraged to get out of relationships in which the guy tries to control you!. In real life, it's not okay for a boy to do that to you!. Those that try to have that level of control are generally abusers!.

also, he does things to make her feel like she *has* to do something, then turns around and does something that makes her feel like she has to do that even more!. For instance-- he tells her he will kill himself if she dies!. That is SOOOOOO out of line!. Saying that to a person makes them feel, in one way or another, personally liable!. It makes them feel like they HAVE to be with you and that they have no choice in the matter!. Threatening suicide is not romantic and is an indication of mental instability (IMO)!. Some of my friends' past boyfriends have told them they would die without them, and it put a lot of pressure on my friends!. Emotionally, it's not healthy to have that kind of pressure or obligation laid on your shoulders!.

Another example is when he tells Bella she HAS to marry him in order to be changed into a vampire!. He refuses to back down; that is his condition!. She agrees to it against her own will!. Then, at the end of the book, he turns around and says, "Oh, never mind!. You don't have to"!. He was trying to make her feel better, but he inadvertently made her feel guilty for supposedly "putting herself above him"!. It makes her feel like she has to do it even more!. And she obviously doesn't WANT to be married-- just read the first chapter of Breaking Dawn!.

I almost feel that, in a way, Edward is manipulative!. Very subtly manipulative!. It's like he takes advantage of her emotions or something!. He does things that guilt her into doing what he wants!.

In real life, girls are usually creeped out if a boy tells them he will kill himself if they aren't with him!. Generally, that is seen as a bad thing!. In real life, it's a terrible thing to be guilted into doing things you don't want to do (I've been in a relationship where the boy pressure me to do this and that, or made me feel guilty if I didn't do what he wanted to do!. He was the kind of boy who would freak out at me if I didn't hangout with him, or would refuse to talk to me if I did something he didn't like or whatever!. It's NOT a good thing to be in a relationship like that, trust me)!.

He's also incredibly jealous!. It's understandable for him to be jealous, but it still bothers me!. That level of jealously is almost to the point where it could be labeled "possessiveness"!. He's taken it to the point where he has isolated her and made her do thing she wouldn't normally do-- for instance, she has no friends!. She's not a social person, but she had people *attempt* to get to know her!. She's isolated from her family; she lies to Charlie all the time and can't confide in her parents!. The only people she can really talk to are Edward and Jake!. All of those things-- the isolation, the jealousy, the lying, etc-- are also a trait typical of abusers!.

I have many more issues with Edward, but those are the main ones that make people call Edward a "future spousal abuser"!. I can understand why Eddie does the things he does, but that does NOT make them right, moral, or ethical!. In real life, boys would get in major trouble for doing some of the things Edward does to Bella!. That's why this series bothers me so much-- it rationalizes things that would normally be viewed as bad!. It makes them seem okay!. In terms of the book, his actions make some sense!. In terms of reality, they would generally be viewed as bad!. So I find it terrible the SM has convinced so many of these girls that Edward is "perfect", because if they were to end up with a boy who did some of the things Edward does, they most likely wouldn't be happy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The word abusive doesn't in connect with Edward Cullen!. He's proven several times how unselfish he is!. He always makes decisions with the best interest of Bella!. Mind you they might not always be the best decisions, but still!. And there's not been one time he striked Bella!.

And hey, can't a guy get jealous sometimes!? Even though Edwards a vampire he still has human emotions buried in him!. He's a bit territorial but he looks out for BellaWww@QuestionHome@Com

No, he's not abusive!.
He is just trying to protect bella since she's so breakable!. In the books, the only reason he is so over protective is because bella is being targeted by lethal vampires!. It's a whole different situation compared to boyfriends in real life that are too controlling or over protective!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

no edward is not abusive he is just over protective u have to look at how he talks about her according to him she is the most precious thing in his world!. to qoute new moon "before u came along my life was a moonless night and you shot across the sky like a meteor and lit it up!." so he is just protecting her i am also team edwardWww@QuestionHome@Com

Honestly!? I think it depends on how you look at it!. You can look at situations as selfish or unselfish!.

I personally don't think he's abusive!. I think he's annoyingly perfect and has an ego the size of Jupiter!. I don't like him much!. But I don't think he's abusive!.

?M?Www@QuestionHome@Com

of course he's not!. he is just so undecided and over protective and jealous a lot and it doesn't help his case!. but he would never hurt Bella intentionally!. besides he is perfect and beyond sexyWww@QuestionHome@Com

I don't think he is abusive, but it does seem like he has the MAKINGS of an abuser!. He's overly protective of Bella and as you've said, he is quite jealous of Jake!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I don't really think that he is, but I think he's a little too overprotective and jealous of Jake!. I mean, he disabled Bella's car just so she couldn't see jacob!?!?!?!?!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Ewdard is TOTALLY not abusive its just because he loves bella so muchWww@QuestionHome@Com

he disabled her truck so she couldnt see jacob to help him out she had to wait till he left then sneak over thereWww@QuestionHome@Com

No i dont think so!.
I love Edward in every way
<333333Www@QuestionHome@Com

nopeWww@QuestionHome@Com

In a way, I suppose!. I mean, Bella does some pretty risky things just to hear his voice inside her head!. That is quite extreme!.

He makes her feel insignificant, like she is not worthy to have him!. When he dumped her, she didn't even contest it- she felt she already knew the reason, as in why would someone so perfect as he would want to go out with me!. And that is quite an unhealthy attitude towards a relationship!.

Edward is over-protective!. He prevents her from doing things she wants to do, and she is so brain-washed that she doesn't resist very much against it!. And, if you notice, he manipulates Bella into accepting his proposal!. He knows Bella wants him to be the one to bite her more than anything- and he uses that to get her to do what he wants!.

It's not all Edward's fault, I imagine!. Bella lets him do this to her, because she is so dazzled by his attention and beauty!.

I actually think Jacob would be the better boyfriend!. He'd be a lot more fun, plus if it got really cold outside he'd be like a portable radiator, lol!.

Edit: Giving up the one you love for their happiness is a lot more romantic than killing yourself because you dumped the person in question in the first place!. Just saying!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Yes I absolutely do!. If you were honest with yourself and went to a domestic abuse site and gave Ed the "tests" there, you would see he scores over an 80!. Meaning there is a 4 in 5 chance that a guy like that would end up physically, emotionally or verbally abusing you!. And for a girl like Bella who is a 100% codependent doormat, the odds are even higher!.

Of course you think he would be a perfect boyfriend - that is how an abuser sucks you in!. Obviously if they showed you their abusive side first, you wouldn't get involved!.

This is the problem with this book - it shows girls the "perfect" side of the typical abusive man -- the side that everybody sees and loves!. It is all a part of the pattern!. And you and the other girls reading this book are just too young to understand the patterns of abuse!. Which is why a lot of girls are going to end up seriously hurt by the Eddies of the world!. It is very irresponsible of the author to allow girls to see this without showing them the other side!.

Ed is selfish, self centered, spoiled, arrogant, controlling, piggish, manipulative!. He is a liar!. He is a social outcast - just like Bella!. He makes her into a liar!. He is disrespectful to her father and breaks into his home every night to watch her sleep!. He is rude!. He isolates her from her friends!. He calls her his "heroin" - his drug - his addiction!. When he leaves, she is so catatonic she jumps off a cliff just to hear his voice!.

Why do you think the author makes him sparkle!? So Bella will be attracted to him and see past the abusive side!. Overprotection IS abuse!. It is isolating you from people!. When someone disables your car and prevents you from seeing your friends and you have to SNEAK out, THAT is abusive!. Being protective like that is not being loving!. It is harmful!. These are all signs of a domestic abuser!. They are always the perfect gentlemen on the outside!. But living with one is pure hell!.

I found out the hard way!. I had a perfect Eddie once too!. Everybody loved him and told me how lucky I was to have him!. But I was wearing long sleeves in August and makeup to hide the marks and nobody could come in my house or they would have seen the holes in the doors and walls!. Know where he is now!? Burning in HELL - right where he belongs!. I beat it!. I got out!. Most don't!.

I feel very sorry for girls who believe Eddie is perfect!. He isn't!. He is the epitome of a domestic abuser!. I thank God every time a girl here realizes what he is and turns away from these books!. They are very dangerous!. Pax-CWww@QuestionHome@Com

I don't think Edward is abusive!.I think he really is sweet and really cares for Bella!.Www@QuestionHome@Com