Read and review my twilight fanfic.. first chapter?

Question: Read and review my twilight fanfic!.!. first chapter!?

Just finished writing the first chapter!.!.!.

im going for a humour genre!. if you have a fanfiction!.net account then review on there but if you dont can u review me on here!?

http://www!.fanfiction!.net/s/4394278/1/Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

ok so:
i think you did a decent job!. Alice isn't that crazy and she wouldnt take Jasper shopping!. The whole chicken thing wasn't explained very well!.!.!.and you left out alot of details!. All in all, though it was very funny! Good job, but i do suggest letting someone edit it!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Well!.!.

It was your best effort, and I don't blame you for trying, but maybe you should let someone edit it!. It was very hilarious, no doubt, but a little too funny, maybe you should have more seriousness and abt!. Edward&Bella!.

But it was very nice!.

Hilariously Funny/etc!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

That is good with one minor problem, Jasper can alter feeling around him, he would have had Alice calm down, personally i think that Alice and Jasper need to be mentioned more in twilight so i think that you did a good job!Www@QuestionHome@Com

wow, its good!.

its really funny
poor jasper!
just kidding

and pretty close to how alice and jasper are in twilight

i like it, its a the funny version of twilight!Www@QuestionHome@Com

lol very funnyWww@QuestionHome@Com

that's cuteWww@QuestionHome@Com