im going to be a junior in high school and i really enjoy writing so i wanted to see what other people thought of this one short story i wrote!. it had to be under 2000 words so i wrote around 1990 lol!. this is the 3rd time i have had to post this for certain reasons so i hope this works out
click on this link and it will take you to a page where at the bottom it says download link: kimswriting2!.doc and click on that, then click open and then there is my story
http://www!.sendspace!.com/file/uir3ezid like to know how you thought of it =]
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It's a cute story, and I like how you made Kat not like cats!. That was funny!. I hope you don't mind, but I have some constructive criticism:
It didn't exactly seem like a story; it seemed more like a description!. I know that April had all those embarassing moments around Josh and all, but it didn't really amount to anything besides her being embarassed!. Try actually having Josh speak to her at one point, like when she gets the mail!. While his younger sister is speaking to her, he can come out and speak to April, as well, like asking what's going on!. And then, when she accidentally takes the cat away, he can catch her bringing it back, making her lose her chance of him noticing her--just a problem and a solution, which is what a story is!. And to still keep it under 2000 words, try taking out little details, because they seem like fluff!. Like how the neighbors would have thought somebody was in trouble; maybe you could use a simile there, saying that the popping of the balloons were as loud as gunshots, plus we were screaming like crazy!. Then, the reader can infer that neighbors would have thought something wrong, and you won't use as many words!. Don't let what April is saying tell the reader every single thing--let the readers think about it, because reading is thinking, not being told everything!.
I really hope that you don't mind my advice!.Www@QuestionHome@Com