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Question: If this was the first part of my book!?
Would you keep on reading it!. I haven't finish this first chapter!. I just need to know if i am doing alright so Far!? The name of it is
Into the!.!.!.!.!.!.


Into the…!.


My name is Trevor and I am 15, I have an 11 year old brother named Joey and a 2 month old sister named Tina!. I can still remember the day my life changed!. I now live alone in an old abandon shed in a forest with my siblings!. Life is hard when you lose you Parents!.
Everyday is trying to survive……!.


Chapter 1: Why live!?

“Hey Joey!” Trevor called out!. “Take care of your sister while I go see if I can get some food down the village for dinner tonight!.” Joey ignored and continued playing with his almost torn stuffed bear!. “Hey! Are you evening listening to me!?” Joel said!. “Yeah yeah…!. I heard you the first time!.” Joey snapped!. “Take care of sister till you come back, see I heard!.” Trevor sighed and went to go grab his worn out shoes from the old dusty cabinet!. “Make sure you don’t leave her alone in the house and go throwing stones at animals in the forest again!.” Trevor said goodbye to Joey and Tina and walking out the wooden door!. Joel reached the small village called Tamvill!. Once there Trevor saw am old women that dropped her groceries!. “Are you ok!?” asked Trevor!? “Why yes dear!. Thanks for your concern, but aren’t you one of those pesky kids from that Pock Gang!.” Said the lady nervously!. Trevor started picking up the lady’s groceries and putting them in the brown paper bag!. “No, I am not!. Who is the Pock Gang!?” asked Trevor!. “You never heard of the Pock Gang!? Said the lady in much surprisement!. “They are the most ruthless band of teenagers who go around beating people for the fun of it!. Why yesterday they almost killed a 14 teen year old girl with long black hair with a cute butterfly Hair pin who would have got killed if it wasn’t for a small boy with a worn out teddy in his hand!. He took her to the east side of town and took care of her till her bruises were okay!. Oh my how time flies!” The lady said while looking at her watch!. “Here have these” The lady handed a batch of bananas, gallon of milk and a loaf of bread to Trevor!. “Thanks, I am very grateful!.” Trevor said while taking the stuff!. “Take care and try not to get in trouble with those Pock Gang members!.” The old lady said waving to Trevor!. “Well I came what I came here for and looks like I have some free time!.” Trevor said in his head!. He walked to the small river on the west side of the village!. He saw a girl about his age standing dangerously on the edge of the bridge!. “Hey what the hell are you doing!?” Trevor yelled out to the girl!. “There are ones that get up and just end up falling again!.” Said the girl crying!. Trevor notice the pin she had on her head was a butterfly!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
You have some great ideas here! Try defining the characters and their situations more!. Let people get to know them, or feel their situation so they get vested in the story!. Then combine their interaction!. EXAMPLE:
As Trevor emptied the bowl filled with the rain coming through the small hole in the roof of the abandoned cabin he now called home, he thought of his parents!. Only 7 months ago they were alive and Trevor, Joey his 11 year old brother and Tina his 2 year old sister were happily preparing for (holiday)!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.etc!. Now Trevor is the parent!.!.!.!.!.
Describe cabin !.!. location from town!.
I love your ideas and will look for more of your work! Awesome!Www@QuestionHome@Com

You should definitely paragraph it instead of leaving it in one big cluster of text, and there are a few small grammar errors!. Other than that, it looks okay so far!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I too am a writer!. I suggest not introducing the character in such a obvious manner; let the reader find out the details about Trevor and the others slowly and through actions!. also, try to add more detail and note little things going on in the background!. Details give you more text and also allow for the character's personality to shine through in them!.
Just an example:
!.!.!.The old woman narrowed her eyes at Trevor so that her crease lines became even more pronounced!. "I haven't seen you around here before!. You aren't one of the Pock Gang members are you!?" Her voice raised a bit in apprehension as she clutched her vanilla colored purse tighter to her bosom!.
Trever stopped while in the action of picking up her groceries and blinked for a moment in confusion!. "Pock Gang!?" He paused!. "I've never even heard of them!." He finished as he handed her one of her grocery bags full of an off-brand kind of cerial and something with a big neon pink sticker on it that read: 'Product no longer distributed, half price!'!."
She let out a sigh of relief!. "Good; Lord knows we don't need any more of those hooligans around here!"!.!.!.

Just a short and rather hastily done example there!. also, try to space out the happenings, and lengthen them; they seem to all happen too soon and too close to one another!.
Altogether it's a good beginning, I was just giving you creative criticism; I wasn't bashing your work!. :) I'd read it; it seems like it's going in an interesting direction and it reminds me a little bit of The Boxcar Children!. Always keep on writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com