Is this a good 1st chapter for the story I am writing for a project?

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Question:

http://chapter1mymg!.blogspot!.com/

this is the link to the 1st chapter of my story!. please tell me ur honest opinion!. please tell me if u like it or not and if it's original or not!.

please also tell me what i can improve onWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

As for this being original, I would have to argue no!. This is simply a mixture between fantasy and Greek mythology which is nothing new!. In fact, it's two very old and overdone genres which, in itself is overdone!. I don't want to beat a dead horse but this doesn't even feel like a first chapter to anything!. Simply a moral story you might tell a child who liked dead dinosaurs!. It lacks creativity - wizards, armies of the dead, that's nothing new!. I don't want to discourage you but, were it me, I would start all over!. Think of something within the realm of possibility that hasn't been in every fantasy novel in the last six decades!. That being said, I don't like it!. You wanted honest!. Let your readers get to know a character before they battle life altering decisions like wanting to kill their kin!. also, I wouldn't start off with 50,000 years ago because 50,000 years ago there were no dinosaurs or wizards or dragons!. It's fantasy, you don't have to say when it is!. By putting your story in this time frame your readers expect that to be from present day which just isn't true!. Keep working on it!. Maybe say it's 50,000 years from the dawn of what is now known as the modern world!. Then it's out of context!. Finally, we'll leave it at that for now, it's only a few paragraphs long - much to short to be a chapter!. This response is almost as long as your intro!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's a good start, but it seems like you are telling and not showing!. Instead of showing what happened, you are telling it like its a history text book!. And, as a history student, those really aren't that interesting!. Try to make you're writing more descriptive!. Maybe some dialogue, story, thought process coming from the characters!? I know its just an intro, but those are suggestions for later too!. And, it's a little short to be a chapter!. Good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Im not sure wat its called something about tenses but its seems a bit like he did this he did that and then he did this, so they did that, se wat i mean!? Try and out in some first person i think it is rather than just narating!. also it sounds more like a prolouge from there u wud go to the life of his son for example!.Www@QuestionHome@Com