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Question: Short short story, like it!?
I’ve seen her a few times, at Football games and such!. She’s a Cheerleader at my old High School!. So, of course she’d be at all the games!. I never really noticed it until recently!.
She’s really Beautiful!.
I knew that I probably wouldn’t be seeing her in person anytime soon, especially since school was out for the summer and no Football game were being played!. Not to mention that fact that if I did happen to see her in person, I hadn’t the balls to introduce myself!.
So I decided to attempt to talk to her, by adding her as a friend online!.
I know, smooth move on my part…
So, I wrote to her, “Hey, How’s it going!?”
“Hey, Pretty good…um do I know you!?” She replied!.
A shot through the Heart!.
“No, We haven’t actually met before, I’ve seen you around a few times and figured I’d say hey” I said!.
“Oh ok, Hi lol” she replied!.
Hey…that sounded promising, she didn’t have to reply at all, so I though it was going good!.
“Hello, lol, So How’s your Summer break going so far!?” I Asked!.
“It’s going pretty good, I’m enjoying it, How about you!?” she replied!.
Cool!.
She asked about me!.
“It’s going good, I haven’t gone on vacation anywhere but it’s still been fun not having to deal with Homework!.” I replied!.
It’s been a couple days now!.
No reply!.
Same old thing!.
Guess I’ll have to wait for the next chance!.
Same old, same old!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It could be wonderful, but honestly it's so short that I feel it isn't really going anywhere!. There isn't really any steady plot!. Plus when you have just two characters in dialogue you don't have to put "I said/she said"!. The reader usually can follow who's talking!. and the 'said' just serves to put an unwanted break in the story!.
I'm not trying to disparage your story or anything, and I personally know what it feels like to have your work picked apart piece by piece!. Remember always keep writing no matter what anyone says!.
Unfortunately the hardest thing to deal with as an author is rejection!. But keep working and I definitely can see greatness!. You have a great style, so stick with it!.

If you need any more help feel free to email me at salemangel4@yahoo!.com I'll be glad to help in any way I can!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

;P
Well, I think it should have ended differently, like after they talked online, and schools back in session and he gets the courage to ask her out!. Then he should be rejected by her!. :0 But, its ok!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

That was interesting!. I liked it, but you could try expanding on it, like continue on with it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's pretty boring and one-dimensional, sorry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com