Position:Home>Books & Authors> How do I write an emotional passage?

The way to evoke emotion has a lot to do with your ability to dig deep into the moment while you write, get into your subconscious!. But also, the way you write has a huge impact!.

For instance, what not to do: "I cried really hard, because I was sad!. The tears fell and there were enough to fill an ocean because after my wife died!. My heart was broken!."

Well, who cares!? Not me!. Not one damned bit!. There's a reason for that; the moment is abstract cliche and poorly written!. And it's telling not showing!.

"I cried really hard" I don't care, this elicits no emotion!.
"I was sad" abstract, not showing anything
"there were enough to fill an ocean" big fat cliche, meaningless!.
"my heart was broken!." Boo-hoo!. Another cliche!.
"my wife died!." I'm sorry, but if you're going to throw a death in there and expect that to make up for all the shitty writing before hand, I'm not going to care!. Big deal!. People die all the time, you need to do your job as an author and don't rely on sympathetic readers!.

Instead, try something like (and this is going to be bad because I'm not exactly "in the moment," but!.!.!.)

"The picture was a little fuzzy in my mind; it had been sixteen years!. But when my eyes closed, it was all there!. The clay-red dirt trail, miles of sunflowers, the crisp crackling January air, the way that fu<king terrified look in her eyes faded ever so slightly when we went there!. I thought we would have those moments whenever we wanted to float on the wind for a while -- four to six months, the doctors said!. But it wasn't four to six months!. Long before that she was chemo-drained and bedridden!. Her hair, smile, that place, gone!. On that last day, in January, when we walked that dirty road, I barely looked at the sunflowers reflecting in her eyes!. I was just thinking, we'll have a picnic here!. That'll be a great goodbye to this place!."

Anyways that was just an example, whether good or not I don't know that's up to you!. But the idea is to make the moment genuine,not melodramatic or cliche or abstract!.

http://apex!.darkbb!.comWww@QuestionHome@Com

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A simple, and easy answer: Pretend you are her, and you're leaving your family!. But you have to be completely convinced, maybe cry about it- pretend they're about to die and you know you have to say these last few things!. Write it addressed to your mom, or dad before writing it, and keep them in your mind!. Put yourself in that characters position and write like she would, but directed at your loved ones!. If you cry, then it's better- re-read it and see how it makes you feel!. You can always add more later!. Then, show it to your family and see what they think of it, see if it makes them tear up!.

When you're done, address it to whomever this character is sending it to!.

:)Www@QuestionHome@Com

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Think of a time you were nearly in tears!. For me, it's the end of Remember the Titans!. I think what you need to elicit such a response is to make sure your readers are connected with the character by developing him well enough!. So think of whatever made you cry once, and just write!. Write more than you have to because you can always delete, and whatever you do !. !. !. never add random cliches in it!. Always avoid them, at any cost, unless making fun of them!. So, in finality !.!.

People say that it can't work, black and white; well here we make it work, everyday!. We have our disagreements, of course, but before we reach for hate, always, always, we remember the Titans!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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that's a very difficult thing, to bring a reader to tears, especially in this cynical age!.

what i would suggest is not getting overly wordy, but not too choppy, either!. you need a fluency that won't weigh the reader down or tilt them up either!.

focus on the small details!. don't say 'she was sad'!. what kind of a description is that!? show, don't tell!. especially with little details!.

i would write an example for you, in fact i tried, but it REALLY REALLY sucked and it probably would have screwed you up even more!.

what i would recommend is go back to those books you've read where you've cried!. my examples are the amber spyglass (when lyra is seperated from her daemon, which is literally part of her soul) and the book thief (at the very, very end- won't give it away to you because it's an awesome book you should read anyway) see how the masters do it and then you'll get some more ideas!.

hope that helped you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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