Doctor Who Story?

Question: Doctor Who Story!?

Hi i'm 13, I wrote this Doctor Who story, well not finished it yet but this is it so far!. Please read it and tell me what you think of it!. The reason I wrote it was because I love Doctor Who and have loads of ideas for more monsters and aliens and stuff!. So I decided to write one!. I hope you enjoy what I have written so far!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Honestly!? It sounds like a summery more than a story!. I know I'm being harsh but that is what it really seams like to me!.

You need to "show" rather than "tell"
Rather than “The next day Santa was so miserable” try something like “Santa sat slouching on his old, worn down recliner by the fire watching the podium on the clock swing back and forth, with every ‘tick’ his heart grew heavier and heavier!. He sighed and glanced at the bin before turning back to the clock”
-Do you see what I mean by “showing” instead of “telling”: It’s easy to see Santa’s miserable from the way he’s acting although I never said he was!. You could also try to describe things in more detail and extend the last bit about Mickey!.

I do think it’s a really interesting plot, It’s got to be hard to be Santa and quite lonely too!. I think you should stick with your ideas by try to write it more like a story or book!. It's up to you how you want to write it but if I were you I would focus on how Santa became evil in the first chapter (maybe as a prologue!?) and the rest of the chapters could be how the Dr!. (+ companions) hear that he is evil, researching the Mr!. X guy, and then trying to stop him, etc!.

Why don’t you try posting it on fan fiction!? Lots of people can read and review it and give you some good advice (you can read other Dr!. Who stories too)!.

Fanfiction:

http://www!.fanfiction!.net/
http://www!.whofic!.com/

Useful Tips:

http://www!.dailywritingtips!.com/show-don!.!.!.
http://users!.wirefire!.com/tritt/tip19!.ht!.!.!. (there are lots of other tips if you click the home button)
http://www!.fictionfactor!.com/articles!.ht!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com