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Question: My book/story!.!.!.the start of it!.!.!.what do u think of it!?
Well heres the beginning of it!.!.!.i have many ideas and it may turn into a long story/book!.!.!.!.please some input
The day was young, yet the sun had not crested over the horizon!. A dark outline lurked deep in the shadows!. It watched its prey as if it was a vicious predator on the prowl!. The subject walked down the dark and slightly moonlit trail slowly and cautiously!. The shape crept along slowly as well not trying to call attention to itself!. The subject was a female, slender, she had long dark brown hair, her skin light in complexion she was of medium height and tall for her age, she was no older than 16!. The figure had been watching the female subject for quite some time!."She’s perfect" he thought!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
it's pretty good!. you need to edit it though!. i think you have real talent as a writer!. One piece of advice though, you ramble on too much!. I found i got bored and confused!. keep working on it though!. its a great start!.
:DWww@QuestionHome@Com
I'd read it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
one thing you should change:
"A dark outline lurked deep in the shadows, watching its prey as if it was a vicious predator on the prowl!."
ya, so i read up to there, then didn't have the patience to read the rest!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
That is really interesting, I really want to know what happened to the girl!. One glitch thought, is that you are introducing too much information at the same time!. You went and had a very interesting beginning, and then suddenly you were rambling about her life!. Instead of telling the reader about her life, show us!. Have Dex go about his daily routine, wishing that he could see amber lea here, or going about her business there!. Make is more interesting though that story idea is wonderful!. A little more detail in the first bit though were the shadow is stalking her, make the suspense drag for a little bit longer!. And you don't need the words 'in complexion' in it, just light skin would work fine in the sentence!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
you've been mixing up a few words!.!.!. choir and chore, defiantly and definetely!.
but your writing sounds a little choppy to me!. editing is a must here!.Www@QuestionHome@Com