Is this a good idea for a book? I am writing some at a time?

Question: Is this a good idea for a book!? I am writing some at a time!?

This is called Sand And Sun:

Abbi Foster was tanning her smooth legs when a surfer dude started to catch some waves on her private beach!.
"Hey, can't you read!?" she pointed her perfectly manicured finger to the teak 'No Trespassing' sign!. "NO TRESPASSING!"
The tall,tanned,muscular teenager crammed his Hurley sticker covered surfboard in the khaki colored Miami sand and walked over!.
"Oh, sorry dude!" he apologized "I'm Eli!."
"Um, as long as I am outside you can 'hang ten', if you want to of course!.Oh, and I'm Abbi!." the rich thirteen year old replied!.
As soon as Eli turned around she whipped out her new 3g Iphone and texted her two best friends!.
Abbi: RED ALERT, hot surfer dude!

I am 13 so please do not be so harsh!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I think for 13 this is really good and who better to write a book for teens then a teen themselves!( I used to hate books written by people who were blatantly 10 years older- trying to use the language they thought 'the kids' use!)

I would suggest- keep writing- write what you find interesting- keep practicing and working one different things and also don't feel you have to describe every detail- the beauty of books over films is that the reader can imagine the scene/ characters- and make them more like able for themselves because they are filling in the gaps in their own imagination- where as with films- you only get to see how the director See's it and if that's not how you would see it it makes it rubbish!

Keep it up and best of luck!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

It is good as an opening!. Just check your spacing between words and commas!.
I would like to read the rest of this :)
How much do you write a night!? If I have the time, I tend to write between 500 and 1000 words a night!. When I don't have time, I still try to write a bit!. Even little bits help to write a story!. You cannot write a story without words, and if you have to write them one at a time, so be it!.
Good luck with the rest of your story!Www@QuestionHome@Com

It is a good start!., I am not a writer or anything, I dont have that kind of time:), but they girl, if she liked this boy, wouldnt have given in so easy!. She would have been a little bit more snobby and playing "hard to get" that is usually how those rich girls are anyway!. but hey you only 13 right!. FOR YOU this is a good start and is looking to be a good book!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

not much to start a story from!. The story totally conflicts itself!. She says no trespassing, basically telling him to go away, then says , ohh laa laa, stay for as long as you like!. Needs more details, more dialog, and more complementary story guidelines!. You could make that short, lifeless, paragraph into a whole chapter if you worked hard enough!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I am friends with a writer who is 14!. I am a writer at age 18!.

Anyways!.!.!. yeah this is a good idea for a story!. The way you set the mood and the description were superb!. I felt as though that I was there!.

I like how you presented the text message!. It immediately sets the scene for the next sequence!. Anyways looking foward to read more from you!. Keep up the good work!.

And please!.!.!.!. Have a nice day = ]Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sorry, but i found it pretty poorly written and kinda lame!. :-( it sounds like every other teen book about a shallow teenager and her group of shallow friends with a shallow hot guy!. Sorry, not original and not that good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Honestly i think its a great start!. The whole 3g i phone works since were in the new era of technology so instead of her going home and calling her friends or e-mailing them, she doesnt have to she gots her 3g i phone with her and everyone is informed at the touch of a button!. its great though i like itWww@QuestionHome@Com

i never post my stories up in here cuz sum one mite taake advantage of that and steal my stories!.!.!.!.next thiing you know
bam!
sum one has 10,000 dollars
annd you just dont

lol

the story sounds awesome i wanna hear more

i'll be the 1st one to buy once it gets publishedWww@QuestionHome@Com

That's not an idea for a book, that is a scene from a book!. To convey what your book would be about you need to write a synopsis!.

http://www!.vivianbeck!.com/writing/5_step!.!.!. or http://www!.fmwriters!.com/Visionback/Issu!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Be more dramatic, that's what sells!.
The guy may have a mystery past!. The girl may be hiding a secret!. The whole scenario can be in an island!. She may be there because of a broken heart and it's just looking for a short relationship!.
Spicy it out, have fun!Www@QuestionHome@Com

total snooze fest

you can hang ten!? obviously know nothing about surfing!.!.

umm yah!.!.!. stick to your own element and write about things you know!. Like going to the grocery store with your momWww@QuestionHome@Com

aww it's cute!.
maybe you should change the word dude some of the time so it doesn't repeat!.
but it's cute:D
i love beach stories about rich people!. idk y lol!.
i love the au pairs series!.
lolWww@QuestionHome@Com

I think it's an interesting story, but you should not use slang when you aren't quoting the characters!.

Examples: "a surfer dude"
"she whipped out"Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's okay, I wouldn't call him a surfer dude though, and I think it's a little too descriptive!. With some editing it could be good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it is good!. I would definitely want to read that book if it ever came out!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

detail it a lil bit moreWww@QuestionHome@Com

im 13 too!.!.!.i think it is just a tad bit too much!.!.there are a little too many adjectives!.!.keep it a little bit more calm and it will be goodWww@QuestionHome@Com

I'm sorry but it sounds really shallow and I probably would not waste my time reading it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

no, because you have told us nothing about the book whatsoever

it sounds like cliched garbage, thoughWww@QuestionHome@Com

sounds a tad like a copy-cat clique bookWww@QuestionHome@Com

It sounds good, I'd read it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

um!.!.!.!.!. im 13 too!. but!.!.!. my books are 'different' but!.!.!.um!.!.!.wow!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Well, it sounded okay, not great!. Your writing wasn't the best, either!. Just the way you described things was just bleh!.

""Oh, sorry dude!" he apologized "I'm Eli!."
"Um, as long as I am outside you can 'hang ten', if you want to of course!.Oh, and I'm Abbi!." the rich thirteen year old replied!."

That part was not very realistic and it was very poorly written!. She said "Um" and "hang ten" and that was a BIG turn off!. It would have been better with something like this: "Um" Abbi hesitated, staring at his perfect body!. "I guess you can!.!.!.!."
See how much better that was!? You just need to change some of your wording!. But I did like it when Abbi took out her phone and texted to her friends!. That part was VERY realistic!.

Overall, it has potential!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It does need a bit of work including a bit more detail!. Like, what does the beach look like, white sand or black, are there palm trees, is she behind her house, is there a gate across the beach to keep the area private!? When did the surfer get to shore, you hear that's he's catching some waves then the next sentence he is on the beach!. And to spice it up a little you might want to mention more about how he looks!. Is there wet hair hanging in his face or is he bald, an inch of hair, any facial hair, what color is his trunks!?
Add a little bit more detail and you're gold!. It would be interesting to see where you go with this idea though!. Keep writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sounds like something I would hear on one of those reality tv shows like the hills or tv shows like gossip girl or the OC!. It's too typical and everybody knows this story already!. You gotta think of something that interests others!. Create something new!. Tell me honestly is this something you would wanna read!?
Look at some of your favorite writers and let them inspire you a little!. Don't copy just see what they do to attract your attention so you will read more!.
Asking your english teacher or art teacher for advice could be a good thing!.
Writing a book isn't easy so think hard about what you wanna write about!. it could also be about your life and what you do daily!.Www@QuestionHome@Com