Question: A New Teaser!?
Jack stopped three steps out of the kitchen!. The grumbling noise grew louder!. The floor started to shake!. As he turned around he went through his mental checklist of chores: Cat litter, check; dishes, check; trash, uh-oh!. When he was facing the kitchen the trash can wasn't there!. The grumbling turned to growling, and Jack took in the beast from feet to head!. It was walking on old chicken legs, had arms of moldy bread, hair of spaghetti, eyes of olives, and a mouth of rotting spinach!. As it took steps towards him, and raised its arms drops of rubbish fell to the floor!. Jack couldn't scream!. He couldn't move!. He stood helpless as the Garbage Monster ate him up!.
This is the opening to the new story in my Jack vs series: Jack vs the Overflowing Garbage Monster!.
How does it read to you!? Scary enough!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Yes!. Scary like anything!.!.!. But who will buy it unless you dont have enough of those!.!.!.!. ah! you know what I mean!. I just want you to be amongst a group of drooling teenagers!.!. "Oh! My God I just loooooooove the Garbage Monster! Wish I could taste the owerflowing leaks!!!!!!OMG OMG!!!"
May I suggest a name for the Garbage Monster!? How about Dumpire!?
TW KWww@QuestionHome@Com
So, I see that Jack escaped unscathed from the dust bunnies and Armageddon earlier!. Good for him!. But, how sad, he escaped the dust bunnies only to turn around and face that irritating garbage monster!. I always hate meeting the garbage monster in our kitchen, because, unfortunately, our garbage monster and the cat litter are one in the same!.!.!.yummy!.
Well, back to commenting on your writing!.!.!.I think the scare factor of this story is just right!. There is nothing better to get children to take out the trash than the idea of having something like the garbage monster looming over them!. If I had children, they would read this story whether they liked it or not, because I personally don't like taking the garbage out!.!.!.
And I must say, the imagery and description in the story is phenomenal!. Mmmm!.!.!.I bet that monster smells like a breath of fresh air!.!.!.
Well done!.
Oh, and the answerer before me had the wonderful idea of naming the monster Dumpire; my heart just flutters at the ring of it!. Shall I offer a few more name suggestions!.!.!.how about something timeless, like Edwarbage, or perhaps Garbward!.!.!.
Best wishes, Vet!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Is that the children's series you told us about before!? If so, yes!. It really does sound scary for an innocent child!.
How did the monster come alive!? Is there still a continuation to that one!? Will Jack live after the Overflowing Garbage Monster ate him up!? Wow, a very good teaser you got there!.
And, yes!. I agree with TW K!. You should definitely name the monster "Dumpire" (to prove to people that vampires aren't the only ones who rule)!.
Good luck, TheVet! =]
|<ryptonWww@QuestionHome@Com