Position:Home>Books & Authors> Do ya like the beginning of my story so far(see details0?
Question: Do ya like the beginning of my story so far(see details0!?
In the place where the sun gives way to the moon, a large purple mountain overlooked an old, dusty cabin!. No one in living memory had lived there but it was surrounded by tall pine trees that whispered age old secrets when the wind passed through them!. Almost directly across from the cabin was a small, glistening pond, gaurded protectively by tall trees!. Yet this was no ordinary pond; it seemed to emit a twinkling, almost sinister glow that spooked the animals of the forest!. It reflected no light from the stars above and even in the darkness, it captured the eye and drew it in!.
Well that's just the beginning!.i've been published before and i'm hopin to get this published too!.
Whatcha think!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think it's okay so far, just work on your sentence structure!. Make use of commas, semicolons, exclamation points, etc!.
You might also want to run a Spell-Check, because I can see several misspelled words!.
I do like your word choices and plotline, though!. VERY original!. At least it's not about vampires or mean girls :)
And you're probably the first adolescent on here that uses mature words instead of kindergarten words!. :)
Good luck, keep up the good work!Www@QuestionHome@Com
It was okay, not great!. I didn't really like your wording and the way you described some things!. I think it eventually could be a good paragraph if you changed some things!. I'm sure it will turn out to be a good story, though!. You just need to write some more!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Very nice descriptions!. Definitely catches your attention!. Just watch out for where you add punctuation and for where you don't!.Www@QuestionHome@Com