Question: Screams in the Darkness!?
"Oh god, oh god, oh god!.!.!.!."
"Shhh," his finger pressed against her lips!.
Shrieks pierced the night!. Their hearts beat out of their chests and they slung their heads back and forth trying to figure out the origin of the terror!.
She said, "What is it!?"
"Shhh!." The rustling leaves were louder, closer, more rhythmic!.
"Oh god," she started to hyperventilate, "what the hell is it!?"
He laid across her and put his hand over her mouth!. She squealed, and wriggled but he just applied more pressure, "Shut your mouth!"
The rustling stopped!. They could hear something breathing!. He pointed to a shadow where condensation was forming on the tent!. Her eyes bulged, and the tent ripped open!.
This is about bunnies at a overnight petting zoo!. A very cute, cuddly story for children about the proper treatment of animals!. I'm just not sure the tone is right!.!.!.!.
What do you think!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
No, no!.!.!.the tone is just right!. This story sounds perfectly "cute" and "cuddly" as is!.
And perhaps this will get the idea through to children!. This story will be the epitome of tough love!. Children need to learn the hard way that bunnies are simply not to be messed with!. Is anyone else thinking Monty Python and the Holy Grail!.!.!.!?
Thanks for the laugh, Vet!
Best wishes!Www@QuestionHome@Com
An overnight petting zoo!?! Awesome, kids will want to read it for that alone!. And the tone is just right!.!.!.only, it depends on what you define as the "proper" treatment of animals :)!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
kids aren't going to get hyperventilate or condensation!. The language is too adult and too formal for a "cute, cuddly" storyWww@QuestionHome@Com
ok!.!. i seriously thought that there was some mass murderer about to jump out!.!.!. but the story in itself is very well written!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
The way bunnies multiply - I can visualize a whole series here!. Screams in the Darkness XV -- at least!. Pax-CWww@QuestionHome@Com
"oh God" sounds sexual!.
I don't get the story until I read it for like 3 times!.Www@QuestionHome@Com