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Question: My Children's Story with a Message!?
The True Story of Timmy "Jackknife" Wimperton:
Timmy "Jackknife" Wimperton was the wimpiest kid in school!. He never stood up for himself and always got bullied by the bigger, stronger, better kids!. They called him "Jackknife" because he was so easy to fold up and put in a trash can!. Everything changed for Timmy one day when he was crossing the bridge on his way home from school and an old lady pushed him off!. He landed on his head and ended up in a coma until he died!.
This would obviously be written in a rhyme scheme and have lots of vivid illustrations!. The moral is: If you are a big wuss bag an old lady will push you off a bridge, you'll end up in a coma and die!.
Would you read it to your kids!? To teach them the value of not being a pansy!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Hey, it could be my biography! Except I haven't come across any old ladies on bridges yet!.!.!.
Actually it kind of reminds me of Dostoevksy's The Idiot!. Send it to Russia, it will be a big hit, they'll make Timmy a saint!. Yes I would read it to my kids!. Make him have an epileptic seizure as he's falling off the bridge and change the moral to: "Go ahead and be a pansy, the world is not yet evolved enough to appreciate wuss bags!."
Edit: On second thought, one of the bullies should witness Timmy's death and say something like: 'I want to confess as best I can, but my heart is void!. The void is a mirror!. I see my face and feel loathing and horror!. My indifference to men has shut me out!. I live now in a world of ghosts, a prisoner in my dreams!.' -- kids will love it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Oh, definitely! I love it, and I think most kids would too (even if their kill-joy parents didn't!.)
Actually, your idea is reminiscent of those extremely graphic 19th century "Cautionary Tales for Wicked Children," where a kid gets his thumb snipped off because he sucked it or didn't clean his fingernails or something!.
And what about Grimm's Fairy Tales!? If they can make it past the censors, then I'm sure your story would, too!
I'll look out for your book here in my shop when it's published!
Hafwen xWww@QuestionHome@Com
um no sry bt dude if u read that as a kid wouldn't u b more scared of ppl!? U gotta look at it from kids point of view they want happy stories! Instead of an old lady pushing him off try one of the kids at skool threaten his life so he has to stand up for himself and he ends up saving the bully becoming a hero! I mean u don't have to bt u shouldn't go w/ the kid dyingWww@QuestionHome@Com
I don't know!. I don't like the coma!. Too easy!. I think he should wash up on the shore, think he's going to make it and then be torn up by rabid coyotes, or chinchillas or something!. That's a winner for sure, I'd say!. There's a few 8-12's I'd buy it for, anyway!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Hey people let their kids read Twilight, right!? Sure, I would!. Teaching kids to beware of old ladies is important, too!. Pax-And after all, it is true which adds a lot of pathos to it!. I am tearing up already!. Pax-CWww@QuestionHome@Com
Are you on crack!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
As a serious children's story, it would be hard to find a publisher due to it's dark nature!. You could self publish though!. There is an amazing illustrator called Gris Grimly who writes twisted picture books with messed up nursery rhymes!. He is awesome!. Your story reminded me of that only!.!.!. yours made less sense!.
Firstly!.!.!. the nick name of "jackknife" doesn't make sense!. Your explanation of why is interesting, but jackknife is way too cool for someone who is a loser!. Jackknife is something hidden away in someone's pocket used to shank other people by surprise!.
Secondly, would I read it to my kids!? Probably not!. But I would hope that if the art was awesome and the rhymes were darkly funny, then I would hope that when my children got a little older that they would be amused by it as I am!. Don't forget that there are adults and teenagers out there with a dark sense of humour and a love for fabulous illustrations!.
Lastly, This story doesn't make sense as a moral story!. It has little depth and the old lady pushing him off a bridge is amusing, but makes even less sense!. I suggest reading some children's moral stories and dissecting them to try and understand how professionals go about creating an understandable story!. also, you could google articles on writing picture books and writing for children!. There is a lot of stuff you can easily find out there!.
At any rate, I hope this helps and good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com