What do you think of my "love scenes" in my story?

Question: What do you think of my "love scenes" in my story!?

Sorry, but I don't feel like typing them out again, so, please go to these links!. Thanks!.

http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.

http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.

Can you tell me what you think!? Thanks!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

hi there,
your friend nicole, (a promising young writer), asked me to answer your question!. I'm off to the store, but when I get back, I'll email my comments to her because I prefer the yahoo email format to this one!. shouldn't be long!.

Invictus!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You're thirteen, you're writing about a fifteen year old and a seventeen year old!. A lot changes between the ages of thirteen and fifteen!. Don't write about people older than you!. And if you've never made out, don't write love scenes because they'll sound contrived!. The writing itself is overdone!. Keep writing, though!. Just not romance!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's o!.k!. If you're only 13, you really should write what you know !. !. !. "shivering in pleasure" sounds a bit like an old-fashioned bodice-busting romance, y'know!? And on a first kiss (!?), I'm not sure anyone would exactly 'relax' into the kiss -- that seems to be a more practiced thing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com