Position:Home>Books & Authors> What do you think about these short parts of my story:?
Question: What do you think about these short parts of my story:!?
This goes with my other question:
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Here they are:
He reached over and caressed my cheek!. I shivered, surprised at his gentle touch!. He ran his soft hand along my jawline, then reached up and brushed away a stray hair!. He suddenly put his hand an my neck and pulled me closer!. Instead of putting his lips to mine, he kissed my nose, then kept kissing across my cheek!. I sighed with pleasure!. Before I knew it, he found my lips and brushed mine with his ever-so-slightly!. 'Stop teasing me!' I thought!. As if listening to my thoughts, he finally pressed his lips against mine!. As he kissed me, he ran his hand up and down my side and back!. I relaxed into the kiss!.
Now, the next scene:
(I'll post in an a couple minutes because I don't have enough room right now!)
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Hey there,
Finally found the link your friend was talking about!. I read the comments posted before mine, and I have to begin by telling you that if you did get your inspiration from another book that that is all right!. If the exact words, or words too similar to the original text from which you were inspired to write, are used, it does qualify as plagiarism!. But changing words around to practice learning how to write is a good idea!. It's no different than changing the words to a poem like The Raven around, using the same format, but changing the meaning or the story!. Those who tell you not to do such things might as well be telling anyone who dares to write a sonnet or a haiku or a limerick that they are plagiarists as well!. So don't worry about that, but keep in mind, when the time comes to submit your work to someone else, even to a friend, that you should cite your sources!. It's the ethical thing to do!.
also, to your concern regarding whether or not it's okay to write about making out, given your age, the answer is yes!. It doesn't matter what you write about!. At all!. The boundaries confining the topics you are allowed to write about are only rightfully limited by the scope of your imagination!. To tell a person that they shouldn't be writing about a given topic because they are only X amount of years old, is to oppress that person's freedom of speech, and is to make a potentially inaccurate generalization regarding that person's abilities and intentions and maturity level!. Look at some of the works Jane Austen wrote (read Love and Friendship)when she was just fourteen years old, and see for yourself why generalizations are seen as foolish to make!. Exceptions creep in sideways on the prejudice so very often!. For example, writing a story, or screen play, like Silence of the Lambs, (a well written, provocative, chilling composition about a serial killer/cannibal) does in no way necessarily mean that the author of the book or screen play likes to cut the guts out of people to stew them up for lunch!. Humans imagine all kinds of perverse and horrifying things, but that does not mean that we don't have the rational capacity to avoid becoming the things, or characters, we choose, for any of a myriad of possible reasons, to write!. This is to say, those who think you are writing to satiate your hormonal desires, cannot be certain they are right!. And which is more, even if they are, that still does not afford them the right to tell you that for that reason, you should not be writing such things!. In fact, that couldn't be further from the truth as I am willing to bet that if you post the question "What should a person write about if they want to create a literary masterpiece!?" the very same people would probably tell you to write about what you are passionate about, what interests you, and what "comes from the heart"!.
As for the literature you posted above!. It shows great promise!. The grammar, mechanics, punctuation etc!. is in definite need of a visit from Dr!. Edit, but I thought it was a sweet and innocent exploration into the psyche of youth as it is seen through the experience of a teenager in love!. It is easy to slip into the experience and scene you write about here, and it captivates the reader's interest!. It's not something you stop reading halfway through, put it that way!.
Keep writing it, develop it, and have it edited upon completion!. You have talent, exploit it continually!.!.!.eventually!.!.!.who knows, a masterpiece might be resting before THE END someday!. Good work!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Sounds like your hormones are working overtime! Shouldnt you be playing instead!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Um!.!.!. this sounds familiar!.
I'm not impressed!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
o wow, that WAS desciptive!. lol!. good job tho!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Well that passage sounds like it's from Twilight!.!.!. is it!? I'm going to say YES!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
descriptive but akward detail
but lol
it was good, juts a bit too intemse for m
it sounds very similar to making out scenes it twilight tho so even if u were influenced by it, odnt let it sound to much like it!.
oh yea and u don tneed ot make it les sintense, it sounds good theyw wya it is
and WOW you're only 13!.!.!.!.just WOW!.
lolWww@QuestionHome@Com