What Do You Think Of The Start To My Story?

Question: What Do You Think Of The Start To My Story!?

This is just the begginning and i dont know weather to continue writing this!. ive just turned 18 years old and this is the first story ive wrote!.

But what do you think!?

if you have something bad to say about it, please DO say!.
if something good, please DO say!.

you can tell me whats wrong with it and what you like!.
all comments wil be read appreciated!.

http://readmyshortstory!.blogspot!.com/

thanks alot!.
- tom!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

1st sentence it should be 4 o'clock, not 4'o clock!.

Try to show, not tell!. For example in paragraph 4, it might have been better to start off that the birds chirping were audible throughout the town because of the silence!. Then the moving truck came or something like that!.

In paragraph 15, you might want to put "Okay" instead of k'!. If you want to leave it at "K", you want to go 'k!.

I think you should continue it!. Make sure there's an interesting twist and try to keep your grammar as good as you can!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

um, what were the symbols in the beginning!? there were quite a few grammatical errors in it!. you know, like commas instead of periods and simple wording problems!. i thought it was good!. left me in suspense!.!.!.actually, it still is leaving me in suspense!. !. !.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I was really caught off guard by the symbol use!.!.!. sorry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com