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Question: Can you help me- im writing a play im 14 and its the first one ive ever writtin!?
what do you think!?

seagull
sam - a seagull who's tired of living in the desert and wants to leave home to be like a normal seagull that lives on the beach, he soon begins a life of crime stealing chips from a store
ma - Sam's mom- is sad to see sam go
pa - is happy that sam will soon be able to go off on his own- and maby bring a good name to seagulls every wear
shop owner - owns the store that sam begins stealing chips from, at first hes mad that sam is stealing until costumers start paying for Sam's chips, and sam starts attracting more costumers
pigeons - the “bad boys” in town - convince sam to start stealing chips
costumer 1 - first one to see sam stealing chips
costumer 2 - first costumers little kid
costumer 3 - first one to make donations
costumer 4 - first one to get footage of sam stealing chips
costumer 5 - first one to point out that sam is attracting costumers
anchor man
anchor woman
reporter
sun
student body president
vice president
treasure
Secretary
cheerleaders
football team
band



the scene is on a nest in a cactus in the desert
sam, ma and pa are there!. ma and pa look worried sam looks determined

ma- son, you wanted to talk to us about something!?

pa- something !.!.!.important!?

sam- yea, ma!.!.!. pa, i cant live like this anymore

ma- like what sweetie!?

sam- in this heat! the sun is way to hot,

sun- (sun comes out onto the stage dressed in a yellow sequin dress, a sash that says narrator and fluffing her hair- the family cannot see her) well thank you, your looking pretty good your self!

sam- the ground is dry, there's nothing to look at for miles and miles!.!.!. and i want to leave the desert and go!.!.!. (very dramatically) to the city
(ma faints, pa catches her and sam helps him prop ma up on a chair)

pa- whats so great about the city!?

sam- theres other seagulls there, water, food every wear you go!.!.!. (looks at pa and see that hes not convinced) and maby i can!.!.!. (looks reluctant to say what hes about to say) maby i can!.!.!. (sigh) maby can (spitting it out as fast as he can) make something of myself (smiles akwaawkwardlya- (brightining) you could bring a good name to seagulls every ware! you know thats always been my dream (looks of into the distance) did i ever tell you about the time-
sam- (hurridly inteinterrupting pa) i know, i know- you and ma where on the news when you flew pooped on a reporters head!. so i can go!?

pa- yup, (still looking into the distance) live tv to! and ever since then its been my dream to get on tv one last time!.!.!.

sam- so can i go!?

pa- of course! (glances at ma) but go before your ma comes to!.!.!. ill say good bye for you!

sam- you know mas going to be mad!.!.!.

pa- well tthat'smy business not yours, go on! good bye!

sam- ok! bye pa! you wont regret this!

pa- make me proud son!

(curtainsclose the sun stands in front of them)

sun (narrator so sam flew, and flew right out of the desert and right to everett washington!.!.!. we’ll get back to sam later right now lets go to everett highhigh schoolme of the seagulls- convenient isint it!?

(we see a class room setting the SBP looks nervous)

student body president)- guys i have some good news and some bad news!.!.!.

vice presedent (vp)- (worriedly) bad news!?

SBP- the school district wants us to change our masscot

treasur(t)- WHAT!
secratary(s)- they cant do that!

SBP- well, i think thay can
VP- we cant let them!

T- whats wrong with seagulls!?

SBP- apperently there not “popular” enough and the district wants us to be the chickens

S- the chickens!!!!! we cant be called CHICKENS

VP-thats the most stupid thing i’ve ever heard of

S- whats the good news!?

SBP- we have 2 weeks to convince them that a seagull would make a better mascot

T- how are we going to do that!?

SBP- what we need is a miricle

(everyone freezes lights dim and spotlight apperes on the sun)

sun- well if you think that sucks folks- wait untill you see sam!!!!

(curtian closes behind sun- sun is joined by clouds- the clouds swarm her asking for atographs- the group
makes its way off stage- sun looking quite annoyed!. cutian opens revealing sam sitting out side of The Shop he is begging The Pigions for food)

sam- cant i have some food!? just one little nibble!?

Pigion 1 (p1)- no

sam- please!?!?!?

Pigion 2 (P2)- no

sam- pretty, pretty please

Pigion 3 (p3)- no

sam- i’ll do any thing!

P1- anything!?

sam- anything!

p2- umm we need to consult!.!.!.!.

(the pigions huddle)

P3- ok heres some bread

P2- you go to work tomorrow

sam- (smiling and scarfing down bread) you guys are great!! see ya tomorow!!!!!


i think some parts are a little rushed, please tell me what to fix! please! i know thatWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
well it sounds really cool! that was just the beginning of it right!? is there an ending!? also- i like pigeons! and seagulls!
is the next part of the story about the pigeons convincing sam to steal food for them!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'm not convinced sorry!. I think that a story about seagulls or pigeons wont get much attention!. Having a talking sun is childish!. There are a few grammar mistakes so I feel that it is rushed through!. I feel that the part with the school and stuff is really good!. If the school's students are pigeons or seagulls, then its a bad story!. If it is real people then I think that is great with the deadline thing!. If you would change Sam into a different animal that would be better!. Seagulls don't live in the desert so I think you should change him into like a mole or something!. Maybe a hare!. All in all I think it could only pass as a little kids play!. If that's your goal then your doing great!. Www@QuestionHome@Com