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Question: My Monologue for a drama assignment!.!. tell me what you think :D!?
I couldn’t help crying, the tears trickled down my cheek and the worst part of it all!. Is that I couldn’t stop!. It all happened way too fast, in fact …how did this even occur!? It was all fine a minute ago and now my mums lying there, unconscious and I’m helpless !.!.He made a mess of things and now he just packs up and leaves!. He just left us there … to suffer!. Did we not matter!? He was meant to be my guardian, someone I looked up to when I was in trouble so tell me who do I look up to now that you’re gone!? I tried to wake mum up but she seemed so lifeless!. And I could hear her moans; it was terrifying, what was I to do!? I needed to call someone, I just needed help!. I dialed a number any number…whoever it was, I didn’t care, I just wanted someone to be aware of what was happening!.
As the moment she picked up, I felt relieved!. Although my voice still trembled!. I asked her to come!.!.!.That something terrible had happened and we need to go to the hospital!. I dropped the phone andWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think that this is a great piece to preform for your drama assignment! I think that the whole concept is great and you'll really be able to get the point across and evolve the character so that your audience will really understand your character and enjoy it!. Good luck!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I was wondering who came to help you, so obviously I was very intrested! Good job!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Think about your character!. There don't need to be any "fancy words" that you wouldn't use day to day!. If it fits within the character go for it!. But it sounds like your character is distraught and probably wouldn't say "I just wanted someone to be aware of what was happening"!. Keep in mind, LESS IS MORE!. If your character uses big language, they seem less real!.
also, never use "I felt" or "I feel"!. Unless you're saying "I could feel something poking me" or something like that!. Use a metaphor or something else to get across the point that your character was relieved!.
I think it's a good piece and it really keeps my interest!. Keep up the good work!. With some minor revisions, I know it'll be great!Www@QuestionHome@Com
it was good!.!.!.great concept
but I found alot of the words didn't seem lke ones someone would actually say, especially if they were paniking!.
Not to fear! Just read it out and you may know what I mean; things like 'how did this even ocur!?' , I just can't pictur someone saying that!.!.!.maybe 'how did this happen!?'
just a suggestion and theres a couple more of those in there but ovrall pretty gd!.!.!.!.good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com