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Question: Is anyone willing to critique my play!?
It's something for school, an extra credit project!. It's unfinished and i'm only thirteeen, so cut me some slack!.
PROLOGUE
Enter Spurrina, alone!.
Spurrina!. [Talking to audience] I am Guarded!. There’s nothing anyone can do to me anymore!. Technically, I can die, since I’m mortal and human!. But I can’t die before the Fates say I can!. So they appointed Lucius!. Lucius, the witty, sharp-dressing Guardian!. I didn’t know he was Guarding me until I was sixteen, when he decided I needed to know he existed!. That he was the one who had kept me from falling off the boat!. That he has kept every single bad thing away from me!. That he’s the only non-god who knows how I die!. He’s like fire and ice and rage!. He’s like the night, and the storm at the heart of the sun!.!.!. He’s ancient and forever!. He burns at the centre of time and he can see the turn of the universe!.!.!. And!.!.!. He’s wonderful!. [Exit!.]
ACT 1
SCENE 1
[Enter Lucius, Spurrina, Shopkeeps, and Shoppers!.]
-c-Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like it!!! It's really great! The dialogue is humerous and funny, beautifully desciptive and I wish I could actually see what the actors were doing onstage!. The prologue had me intrigued at the first sentence! It's unlike most of the plays out there today: it's a breed of it's own: thus it is very special! I think you have serious talent! You should look in to writing plays!.!. you are very good at it!Www@QuestionHome@Com
i think you're doing a great job!. opening is intriguing and the plot is unique!. you're dialogue is pretty good so far too!. personally, i think you can push it a bit on the prologue!. how old is she!? because i still get the feeling she's quite young when speaking there!. if that's accurate nevermind, but if it's supposed to be Spurrina as an older character you may want to flesh it out and age it a bit more!. rock on!Www@QuestionHome@Com