Good joke to tell at an audition?

Question:I have to tell a joke for an audition into this acting camp. Needs to be G-rated. Thanks!

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I have to tell a joke for an audition into this acting camp. Needs to be G-rated. Thanks!

Maybe one of these by Mitch Hedberg:

? I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. "Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here."

? In England, Smokey the Bear is not the forest fire prevention representative. They have Smackie the Frog. It's just like a bear, but it's a frog. I think it's a better system; I think we should adopt it. Because bears can be mean, but frogs are always cool. Never has there been a frog hopping toward me, and I thought, "Man, here comes that frog...I'd better play dead." You never say, "Here comes that frog" in a terrified manner. It's always optimistic, like, "Hey, here comes that frog, all right. Maybe he will settle near me so I can pet him, and stick him in a mayonnaise jar.. with a stick and a leaf.. to recreate his habitat. And I'd certainly have to punch some holes in the lid, because he's so used to air. Then I can observe him, and he won't be doing much in his 16-ounce world."

*You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, but they do want to make it late for something. "Where were you?" "I got caught!" "I don't believe you, let me see the inside of your lip."

? I played golf, I'm not good at golf, I never got a hole-in-one ... but I did hit a guy. And that's way more satisfying. You're supposed to yell "fore," but I was too busy mumbling, "There ain't no way that's gonna hit him." I hit a guy in one. What's par for hitting a guy? One. If you hit a guy in two, you are a jerk.

? When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it's busy they start a waiting list. They start calling out names, they say "Dufrane, party of two. Dufrane, party of two." And if no one answers they'll say their name again. "Dufrane, party of two, Dufrane, party of two." But then if no one answers they'll just go right on to the next name. "Bush, party of three." Yeah, but what happened to the Dufranes? No one seems to care. Who can eat at a time like this - people are missing! The Dufranes are in someone's trunk right now, with duct tape over their mouths. And they're hungry! That's a double whammy. We need help. Bush, search party of three! You can eat when you find the Dufranes.

? I like swiss cheese. It's the only cheese you can draw with a pencil and still identify. You can draw American cheese, but someone will think it's cheddar. "That's Swiss!" "Yes, it is." "But how did you know?" "Because of the holes!" Swiss cheese is a rip-off; it's is the only cheese you can bite and miss. "Hey - does that sandwich have cheese on it?" "Every now and then!" I got some swiss air on that bite.

? I order a club sandwich all the time. And I'm not even a member. I don't know how I get away with it. "I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread." "So do I." "Well lets form a club then." "Okay, but we're gonna need more stipulations." "Yes we do." "Instead of cutting it once, let's cut it again." "Yeah, four triangles." "And we will position them in a circle. And in the middle we will dump chips." "Or potato salad." "Ok." "Let me ask you a question, how do you feel about frilly toothpicks?" "I'm for 'em!" "Well, this club is formed. Spread the word on menus nationwide." "I like my sandwiches with alfalfa sprouts." "Well you're not in the club!"

Hilary Clitions Daughter had an interview with President Bush. During this interview, she ask "mr. Preseident, what do you think is the bigest problem facing our nation right now" and his response was "Osama, Obama, and yo manna"

A man was driving down the freeway and he saw a pig, poke his head out of the bushes and the disappear he thought poor little thing he’s going to get killed, so he pulled over caught the pig and put in his car, he buckled the pig in the front seat and drove off.

A cop saw the pig riding shotgun and said, that’s not right.

So he pulls the man over and says, “What do you think you are doing driving with a pig don’t you know that’s illegal??”

The man says, “Well I found the pig wandering on the side of the road so I picked it up”

The copy says, “Take that pig to the zoo”

So the guy drove off to the zoo.

A few days later the cop is on patrol and he sees the man coming down the street with the pig riding shotgun once again.

The cop pulls him over and says, “I thought I told you to take that pig to the zoo”

The man replies, “I did, and he liked it so much now I’m taking him to Disneyland”

I know very corny but it always makes me laugh.