OMG....I need a MONOLOGUE 4 TOMORROW!!?

Question:i have got to do a monologue in my class tomorrow (i do perfoming arts). i need to find a monologue. i have looked in books, internet but i have had no luck.

i am extremely good at making people laugh so a really funny one owuld eb good. it needs to be about 1-3 minutes long. shorter the beter (as it helps me learn quicker)

please help me find a really funny monologue for FEMALES. thanks

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: i have got to do a monologue in my class tomorrow (i do perfoming arts). i need to find a monologue. i have looked in books, internet but i have had no luck.

i am extremely good at making people laugh so a really funny one owuld eb good. it needs to be about 1-3 minutes long. shorter the beter (as it helps me learn quicker)

please help me find a really funny monologue for FEMALES. thanks

it's too late.

When I used to teach drama, I used to tell my students that their monologues would be due in a couple of weeks, but that they needed to go home that night and memorize one sentence. The next night, they needed to memorize the next sentence, etc,etc so that by the time for performances came, they'd be solid on words. You've waited too late. Sorry

Do a search online for monologues or check out some of these.

http://www.angelfire.com/realm/theatre/f...

But its really too late. You need more time to learn it, block it and practice it. Not to mention, you need to show it to someone to see fi it's worth showing.

You are also a procrastinator who has gotten yourself in a jam. Better just settle on something you have at hand.

I'm going to spare you the speech about bad time management (I'm sure you are NOT going to leave it to the last minute again).

Anyway - Go for an old standbye and dp Rosalind's epilogue in Shakespeare's As you like it. (my favourite)

For a guide, I've attached a link to Helen Mirren's performance of it (it starts at 8: 15).

As an actor, I have only once prepared a monologue. I choose a character and a rough storyline, and make it up as I go. (I keep my mp3 player in my pocket and record it, just in case I really like it and want to use it again sometime.) If you can think on your toes and have no trouble making people laugh, it won't be a problem.