Position:Home>Poetry> Is this poem good? Please be honest!?
Is this poem good!? Please be honest!!?
I will never forget Desideria's moonlit discolored teeth,
Calloused angelic hands,
Curious brown almond large eyes,
Liquorice tasting hair that always smelled like tangerine!.
I will never forget Desideria's apartment,
Filled with skeleton lights,
glitter skulls, plastic tableware, Honduran flags,
Catholic prayer candles, piles of razor blades, wooden trashcans,
Broken televisions, Daffy duck and Tweety Bird bedsheets,
Orange peelings, a red floor lamp, car parts, and one telephone!.
I will never forget when Desideria said,
"Te quiero, mi amor!"
I will never forget the day Desideria went back to her husband in HondurasWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think it's good, it gives a lot of description, but I think it needs to have a better structure, also edit the last sentence because in my humble opinion doesn't agree with the rest of it, say it in other words, I just have a question for you!.!.!.!. did her taste tasted like licorice but smelled like tangerine!? cause is the weirdest combination!.!.!.!. lol!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Well done!. Gotta admit, after reading the first two lines I was so curious what direction the poem was going to take, and how you were going to wrap up the end!. I appluad your use of strong, descriptive words!. I was able to envision everything vividly in my mind, got a feel and liking for Desideria!. Which made the last line so powerful!.
Thank you for sharing this poem, I hope you have more to share!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
A nicely-written one!. In fact, a nice piece for discussion in a literature classroom!. There's so much story that can be culled out of this poem!.
That's my honest opinion!.
I didn't quite get it until I read it about 3 times!. Although, once I understood it I REALLY liked it!.
Nice variation of words my dear!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
its good not sure i call it a poem !.!.but it is good!.!.!. too bad desideria is a sucky name !.!.!.but again your story is good!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
omg i love it
thats so awesomeWww@QuestionHome@Com