Position:Home>Poetry> I can't sleep ... Don't really want to?

This is just something I wrote a while ago!. Comments welcome of course!.

There IS a tranquil place!.
The turquoise ocean sprays
rocks which are not rough
but rounded from years of wear!.

The air is undefiled
I don't even know I'm breathing
I bask in the sun
Not harsh or too bright!.

At dusk I walk
along the beach of pale yellow sand,
cool, not hot from being in the sun
it is soft like old flannel!.

I dip the tips of my toes
into the water!. I take a dive
it's tepid and untainted!.
I am swimming through air!.

I ascent into sleep under the moon
on a bed of grass, so soft
like velveteen stuffed with cotton
with a blanket of warm air!.

When I fall back to reality
and drag my relaxed body
I take comfort in knowing
I can return tomorrow night!.

Ok, ok, I know - I wrote that my sophomore year of college and haven't looked at it since!.
I'm my own worst critic so here goes - trite, cliche, too verbose, too many pronouns and prepositions, adjectives are weak, no form, doesn't flow!. lol Just read it and know when I wrote it I thought it was a masterpiece!.

Suggested category: Pregnancy & Parenting > Newborn & Baby
Now that makes sense to me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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