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Musing about a liar !.!.!.!?
Just looking for comments, I know it's not perfect, these were just some words that came to mind after a FANTASTIC conversation I just had!.
On Seeing Someone For the First Time Without Those Rose Colored Glasses
What was once a purely
has now turned
into an FBI-esque
investigation!. It was so much easier
when I was naive!.
It was so much easier
when I didn't know you
were a liar!.
for reasons in the past
to believe you
when all reason told me not!.
I have run out of places to search!.
You have run out of places to hide!.
Thank you for removing
these pulchritudinous lenses!.
Now we can keep it real
I used pulchrudinous because it is a word that means pretty, but it sounds ugly - wasn't trying to show off any vocab here!. Heh!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This is classic rawness!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Funny, there's a lot of that on the internet!.
Personally i think you've echoed my sentiments towards several people recently!. One of whom has crossed major boundaries in addition to being a incorrigible liar, just not a very good one!.
*thinks* then again i tend to take everything with a grain of salt!. Especially online, but not necessarily limited to!.
ah rose colored lenses!.!.!.
I wonder if I can see through this green tint!.!.!.
sometimes I think it is better to not see clearly!.!.
It rather makes life more harsh!.!.!.
Having said as much,I will retreat to where it was I was lurking!.!. loitering or whatever it was!.!. oh yes I was feeding my fish!.
Oh !.!. and I did like your poem !.!. ciao!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Pulchritudinous has got to !. !. !.
be the most cacophonous
word of them all!.
So much in fact that it would take a poem to make it symphonous!.
Do you get this!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Beautiful, but wasn't under full control!. Vulgar Beauty has its own audience, and i' m one of them!. Pulchritudinous, was the word!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like this very much!. I could use it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Plain truth about a liar!.!.!.nice!.
And thanks for the definition of pulchritudinous!.!.!.!.I was going to have to look that one up!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I wish more people would keep it real, I am hoping for that this weekWww@QuestionHome@Com
Ha! So you saw the "naked" truth, did ya!?
Actually to me i think it sounds very good as it is! :D
and i love how you used pulchrusomethingsomething, it definitely had that effect on me, so well thought out :)
the beginning for me was the best, it really pulled me in and it rhymed in the most unconvential way which was amazing :)
and maybe for the line with the P word (omg its become a swear word now lol) maybe instead of "these" you use "that" and "lenses" is "lense" because we really only look through one lense dont we!? anyway, thts just my opinion
I hope I helped :)
great work, and the best inspirations are usually the most mundane activities
so keep penning :DWww@QuestionHome@Com
well, I like the basis of the poem, but the three things that stood out for me were "FBI-esque", "when all reason told me not", and the p-word!.
I dunno, I don't automatically associate the FBI with rampant paranoia or even with crimes or whatnot!.!.!. maybe the CIA, but even then I think it's a little awkward just saying "FBI-esque"!. I personally think a word like "gruesome" would work much better!.!.!. but to fit the tone of your poem!.!.!.!. hmm!.!.!. "occult" would be a great word, by the dictionary definition, but I guess most people would instantly associate it with witches and satanism and whatnot!. Same with "apocalyptic"!.!.!. perhaps "revealing"!?
"when all reason told me not"!. Put a "to" at the end!.
As for the P-word!.!.!. it doesn't fit!. It jumps out and makes you think "hunh!?" By definition, sure, it's just that in my opinion it doesn't work!.!.!.!. maybe by using a few other college-level vocabulary words elsewhere in the poem might help!? Most of the poem reads at a 6th grade level (no offense, of course) in terms of vocabulary, and I feel that putting a complex word like that in kinda disrupts everything a little bit!. It is a great word, though!. I'd like to see a context that it can be used in and have it fit/flow!
Normally I expect a poem to be written a little less, umm, prosaically!? But I like it!.!.!.!. for whatever reason it does resonate in me a little - it's said simply, but well!. Sometimes less is more, I guess!. Other than what I mentioned above, I consider it a job well done!.