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Is it OK to just start up in the middle of the story!?
Sandal Walker held out her closed hand,
as she opened it, two butterflies appeared,
“When God made the butterflies, they
had beautiful singing voices!.”
Cornplanter tried to hold back his smile,
but he was so proud of how far Sandal Walker
had come as the tribe’s storyteller!.
“Then the songbirds came to God and complained!.
They said it was unfair for the graceful flutterers,
with such vibrant colors, to also have
the most beautiful melodies as well!.
God understood the plight of the birds and
took the music away from the butterflies!. That
is why they remain silent to this day!.”
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Perfect! Well done! Don't add a thing!.
(Actually, I might replace the comma with a semicolon, immediately after "Sandal Walker held out her hand"
and replace the comma with a period after "!.!.!.two butterflies appeared")
Nice tight writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Sounds like the beginning of a story to me!. The story you told is how butterflies lost their voice!. Starting the story at, say, the creation of the butterflies would in no way help this story!. So really, a story starts when something happens, not when the something that the story is about appeared!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I love the bittersweet feel of this!. I have heard a similar folk tale told round a camp fire at night in a Bronze age roundhouse, lit by the fire only!. About twenty of us in a circle with a true Bard telling tales, smoke in our eyes, warm and companionable, windy outside!. Great memories!.!.!.thank you for bringing them back!.
With regard to the question in the title, not if you are explaining something to my wife!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Yes, for in life sometimes you enter other peoples lives in the middle of the story!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Very okay in this instance! Wonderful poem this!. I love the complaining to God image left in my brain!
I like it as it is!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Butterflies aren't silent
just very quiet, and shy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like flashbacks, Your poem speaks beauty!.
also I like , Mixtli and Memmnoch's answers!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's just fine to do so, but perhaps you might post the beginning from your book!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
And it is okay to start at the end!.
Those jealous songbirds!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Yes it is!.
This was very soothing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com