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Is this an o!.k!. poem!?
glistening ice on on frosty trees!.!.
a sunny day with a crispy breeze!.!.
rosy cheeks on babies crying
playing children, snow balls flying!.
Aromas from the houses fill the air!.!.!.
spaghetti, roast, baked chicken!.!.!.
soon they will be cozy is their houses
full and tired!.!.!.resting on their couches!.
Drinking cocoa before they turn off to bed!.
Warm and cozy!.!.!.with soap smelling heads!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Hi, great writing! I could see the kids throwing the snowballs and M-m-m-m the smells of crispy winter!.
You have a very evocative way of writing!. I could see, smell and hear exactly what you had portrayed!.
Keep writing, if this is a small piece of your talent you are blessed in deed!.
Thanks for sharing, FionaWww@QuestionHome@Com
brilliant, one comment tho!.!.!.maybe "full and tired!.!.!.resting on couches" - i think that would work better for the rhythem of the poem
other than that
i absolutely loved it :)
now i really want to go to sleep and get tucked in hahaWww@QuestionHome@Com
I thought it was very good : ) One thing though that just wasn't to my preference was the two lines in-between:
"Aromas from the houses fill the air!.!.!.
Spaghetti, roast, baked chicken!.!.!."
some how they didn't quite match (but that could be just me)!. Other than that, I have no complaints : )Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like the application towards senses!. I like the poem as well!.
Ps- I do that on-on thing when I type, too!. :PWww@QuestionHome@Com
Mmmm!.!.!. I love it!Www@QuestionHome@Com