I drink your words like wine
often far too much!.
I hold your hand in mine
can you understand my touch!?
Like calloused silk you are
that color to your eyes!.
Twinkling like an ageless star
a stern-too-sweet-disguise!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
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Position:Home>Poetry> My poem, Calloused Silk?Question: My poem, Calloused Silk!? I drink your words like wine
often far too much!. I hold your hand in mine can you understand my touch!? Like calloused silk you are that color to your eyes!. Twinkling like an ageless star a stern-too-sweet-disguise!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I love it!.! Can I put this on my myspace!.!? I reaally like it!.!? [[:Www@QuestionHome@Com This is pretty good!. I'd say the one weak link is Line 6's "that"!. After all, what color is callused silk!? I'd think about skin more than eyes!. It could be fixed by tweaking it to "And that", or to a color like "blue" or "bright" or whatever you like!. Write on!.Www@QuestionHome@Com tldr!. cumdumpster is an emo!.Www@QuestionHome@Com this is good i like itWww@QuestionHome@Com better than most of the poetry i read here!. i'll say that much!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |