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Original poem, what do u think!?
Falling through dreams, some good and some scary
While I was falling I met a small fairy
She told me her dreams and how she gets hurt
She once dreamed she was buried, alive in the dirt
The scary part was it didn't feel like a dream
The longer it got the more real it seemed
I told her I'm sorry and that I could relate
I've dreamt about losing the battle of fate
We're falling down at the speed of light
The darkness ahead seems so bright
Maybe it's death that we've both come to see
Perhaps what we have is more then just dreams
I open my eyes but I'm still not awake
The strength I once had is starting to break
I hold out my hands and she quickly grabs hold
We're entering warmth, and leaving the cold
I say I'm alright and she says she is fine
The nightmares are over, both hers and mine
I scream at the darkness that's when I wake up
Darkness overpowers a lot of things, except for true love
Thank you small fairy!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
when i first started reading it i was annoyed with the rhyming because personally i think (or thought) that rhyming was only for funny, non-serious poems, but this poem changed my mind!. thanks!.
anyways the rhyming was perfect especially how the last line was unrhymed!.
never stop writing your thoughts, opinions, and emotions!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
hey Chris P, its Ashley : )
well i really enjoyed this one, actually, i quite loved it
but just a suggestion in the part
The strength I once had is (now) starting to break
i feel like with "now" it goes with the meter more
obviously you could completely disregard this
keep penning chris :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Bravo on the rhyme !. You stayed the lines well and staged the stanzas gracefully !. Most rhymes here are atrocious !. you started with your theme and followed it to the end !. I did not have to stop and try to figure out where you were going with it !.
Just a few minor problems in some of the lines !. You need to add or change some words !. Just so the line and stanza sing !.Www@QuestionHome@Com
You do have a strong sense of meter!. The rhymes are heavy, but good work!. This shows talent!. Now, go out there and read 100 great poets and then get back to me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com