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What do you guys think of my poem!? Please leave whatever comments you want!?
I swear by the morning dusk,
By the dying moon and the rising sun:
I’ve never had these feelings before for anyone!.
These vibes they’re new,
And there’s nothing of me left concealed,
Because I give my all to you,
I perish, I surrender;
I’m vanquished but I’m yours forever!.
I get arrested by your inner beauty,
I come undone by your mind’s serenity!.
Tears flood down my face,
Like drains flowing!.
I’m down on my knees,
I beg to you with arms wide open,
Please don’t forsake me,
Just listen to my pleas!.
I’d die a thousand deaths for you having a look at me,
I’d illuminate a million candles if you’d say your smiles were meant for me,
I’d go through countless chambers to find you,
for finding you was my biggest dream!.
The light in your eyes reflect the beauty of your soul,
The light in your eyes dances mischievously,
Your lips curl up in a smile,
Looking at others devilishly,
But the sad part is that none of these things were meant for me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Yeah, it's pretty good!. The rhythm seemed a little odd but I it like pretty well!.
As for the length: It can be a real problem if the unabridged version is too long and people won't read it because of boredom!. Length and readability are facets of a work that must be considered!. What good is it if others give up on it part-way through - they won't get the full gist of the poem!. But this wasn't composed for publication, eh!? I think these three sets work well!. Do you really need to say more!? Keep it short, illustrate the powerful feelings behind well-chosen words and close it out before the magic begin to fade!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
awww, thats so sweet
i wish someone would love me like that
thats an amazing poemWww@QuestionHome@Com
oooooooo!!!!! thats is SO cute! i wish you wrote that for me!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com