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Question: Care to read my poem, please!?
Liza

You hear what they would say,
In news or black and white,
A story of a little girl,
Taken in the night!.

But what remorse will you feel!?
Beyond I’m so sorry to hear!?
And what more words will you say,
She wasn’t yours anyways!.

You won’t repeat the story,
To friends across the street!.
No need to ruin the mood,
When it’s strangers that you’ll meet!.

Because she wasn’t yours,
A child drown inside!.
Why should you care,
That she’s alone to night!?

It’s not your tears that stain the pillow,
Because that life has no tomorrow!.
Not your fears that came alive,
When she was taken by surprise!.

What reason have you to give a damn!?
She never touched your world!.
She’s just a name on the television screen,
A story too often told!.

And why would you want to remember,
Something horrible like this!?
When you can have your artificial,
Desensitized life in bliss!?Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like it!
Ordinarily, I don't appreciate rhyming, but yours is good, because its not forced!. You don't change the meaning in order to accommodate rhymes!.
Its cool!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think your point is made quite well
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.but life is never fair
a million things are wrong with it
!.!.!.!.!.!.its not that we don't care

for each and every little life
has problems by the score
there is no time to do a lot
for sick and sad and poor

and yes we do remember them
and yes we feel remorse
but that's as much as most can do
!.!.!.and things will run their course!.!.!.


sorry!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Beautiful poem!. I'm not sure I quite understand everything just yet!. It will take some time to absorb it all!. Which makes it interesting you have to read it more than once!. I love it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

That was sooooooooooo good!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Good poem!!! :) I wish I could make a poem like that!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i quite love this poem
its very moving
flows well
and therez nice imagery in it
i can also sense its very heart-felt
in addition to that
my all-time fav!. stanza is!.!.

It’s not your tears that stain the pillow,
Because that life has no tomorrow!.
Not your fears that came alive,
When she was taken by surprise!.

especially the first two lines

but besides all that, mayb reconsider the last line!? the word itself stumbles on itself if u knw what i mean and it just feels like!.!.like such a protruding line (meter-wise) but of course thts just my humble opinion

again!.!.i quite loved it :)Www@QuestionHome@Com