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Question: What do you think about this short story i wrote!?
All alone, he waits!. On a cold floor scared and sorry, he sits!. The pain has become to much for him solitarily to handle!. Reaching across the dark floor he finds his knife!. His refuge, his savior!. This excruciating pain is like a monster, taking over his very being!. Like a million knives, slashing into his flesh!. Like a wild creature, tearing him apart limb by limb!. Hand shaking he lifts the dagger to his forearm, all too ready to end it all!. To make everything go away!. To stop the raging war going on inside of him!. Thrusting, blood spots the walls and his emotionless face!. And again, one more!. And one final time before he slumps to the bard ground underneath him!. all sanity is leaving him forever!. He is slowly slipping away, slipping into the dark abyss!. Unitl he hears one last final scream of the torture he left behind!.

so if you read my peom,
you know i don'tl like cheesy!.
is this cheesy!?
what should i change!?
NO FLAMES!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I gotta be honest, i shivered a little when reading this!.!.!. it's kind of creepy, but powerful at the same time!. The only one, thing i would change is his suicide attempt; maybe he should cut a larger artery than his forearm, like the one in his groan or neck, because slitting your wrist means you'd die very slowly and painfully!.!.!.!.

but apart from that, AMAZING!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Awsome story, its actally really good keep up the good work!. the only thing i would change is instead of killing himself, it should be in veiw of
a killers perspective!.

But, AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

This is really good actually, good job!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

this is the best short story that I have readWww@QuestionHome@Com